ARCHIVES: HILCHOS LASHON HARA & RECHILUS PARTS 1,2 & 3
BELOW ARE THE HALACHOS FROM THE DAILY EMAILS THAT WERE SENT OUT TO THE “HALACHA FOR TODAY” DAILY EMAIL LIST
PART 1
Halachos for Sunday January 31, 2021
Introduction:
We will now, B’Ezras Hashem, begin studying the vital Halachos of ‘Lashon Hara’ and 'Rechilus'.
We will endeavor to keep things simple and straightforward, and try to present the many aspects of this often complex topic, in a simple, understandable and practical way.
Being that the Tur and Shulchan Aruch did not codify this topic, we are following the "Shulchan Aruch of Hilchos Lashon Hara", i.e., the ‘Sefer Chofetz Chaim’, written by Harav Yisroel Meir Hakohen Kagan of Radin, the holy Chofetz Chaim Zatzal , who is universally known by the title of this Sefer.
All Halachos that are presented without any additional source information, are taken directly from the words of the holy Chofetz Chaim (who is also the author of Mishna Berura) , who is generally accepted as an authority and often as “the final word” in matters pertaining to Halacha in general, and surely, as they pertain to the Halachos of Lashon Hara, which was one of his life's primary missions.
It is our collective Tefilah to Hashem that our learning of these important Halachos serve as a vehicle for us all to better appreciate the value of speech and thus improve our day-to-day interactions with one another in the realm of speech.
May we all eradicate Lashon Hara from our lives – as it was the primary cause of the Churban Bais Hamikdash, and continues to be the primary reason for the lengthy and bitter Galus that we are still suffering in (as is demonstrated in the introduction to Sefer Chofetz Chaim) – and thereby merit the long awaited Geulah Shelaima, with the arrival of Mashiach Tzidkeinu B’meheira B’Yameinu!
1) There are various Torah commandments, both positive and negative ones, which can be transgressed when speaking Lashon Hara (forbidden speech) or Rechilus (literally translated as peddling gossip; we will delve into more detail of this variation of forbidden speech as we progress, B‘Ezras Hashem)
Additionally, there are biblical curses which can befall a person who engages in negative speech.
Before we delve into the practical Halachos of forbidden speech, we will enumerate the applicable Torah verses for these commandments and curses.
2) There are 17(!) negative commandments that can potentially be transgressed when speaking/hearing forbidden speech.
# 1 of 17 is:
לֹא־תֵלֵ֤ךְ רָכִיל֙ בְּעַמֶּ֔יךָ
One who speaks Lashon Hara or Rechilus regarding another Jew, be it in his presence or behind his back, transgresses the biblical prohibition against peddling gossip, as it states (Vayikra 19:16) Lo Seilech Rachil B’Amecha.
#2 of 17 is:
לֹ֥א תִשָּׂ֖א שֵׁ֣מַע שָׁ֑וְא
One who speaks evil of another, as well as the one who hears it, transgress the biblical prohibition against giving/accepting false reports, as it states (Shemos 23:1) Lo Sisa Sheima Shav.
Halachos for Monday, February 1, 2021
1) # 3 of 17 is:
הִשָּׁ֧מֶר בְּנֶֽגַע־הַצָּרַ֛עַת לִשְׁמֹ֥ר מְאֹ֖ד וְלַֽעֲשׂ֑וֹת
One who speaks Lashon Hara transgresses the biblical prohibition against doing an action that can result in Tzara’as, as it states (Devarim 24:8) Hishamer B’Nega Hatora’as Lishmor Me’od La’sos.
It is questionable if the one hearing the Lashon Hara transgresses this commandment if he believes what he hears in his heart, even if he remains silent.
2) #4 of 17 is:
וְלִפְנֵ֣י עִוֵּ֔ר לֹ֥א תִתֵּ֖ן מִכְשֹׁ֑ל
One who speaks Lashon Hara, as well as one who listens to what is being spoken, transgresses the biblical prohibition against placing a stumbling block in front of a blind person, as it states (Vayikra 19:14) V’Lifnei Iver Lo Siten Michshol.
For the one speaking, it is a separate transgression for each of the people listening to his words, so if, for example, he is speaking Lashon Hara in front of 10 people, he transgresses 10 distinct negative commandments for relating one statement of Lashon Hara!
Halachos for Tuesday, February 2, 2021
1) #5 of 17 is:
הִשָּׁ֣מֶר לְךָ֔ פֶּן־תִּשְׁכַּ֖ח אֶת־ה' אֱלֹהֶ֑יךָ
One who speaks Lashon Hara transgresses the biblical prohibition against being arrogant (as one who speaks negatively and disparagingly about another, is deemed by Chazal to be a haughty person who considers himself to be a person of higher standing than the one he is verbally ridiculing.) as it states (Devarim 8:11) Hishamer Lecha Pen Tishkach Es Hashem Elokecha.
2) The character trait of Ga’avah, haughtiness, is an extremely harsh sin, as the Talmud (Sotah 5a and other places) states that one who is arrogant is likened to an idol worshipper, does not merit getting up at Techiyas Hameisim, is called an abominable person, Hashem says about him that ‘Me and him cannot exist together in the same world’, and other such frightening things.
If we would train ourselves to focus on our own faults instead of on the faults of others, we would find ourselves less likely to speak Lashon Hara, as too often the reason one speaks Lashon Hara is to elevate himself by way of putting someone else down.
This specific transgression only applies to the one speaking and not to the one listening. Also, it applies to Lashon Hara and not to Rechilus.
Halachos for Wednesday, February 3, 2021
1) #6 of 17 is:
וְלֹ֤א תְחַלְּלוּ֙ אֶת־שֵׁ֣ם קָדְשִׁ֔י
One who speaks Lashon Hara, as well as the one who listens to it, transgresses the biblical prohibition against desecrating Hashem’s Name, as it states (Vayikra 22:32) V’Lo Sichalelu Es Shem Kodshi.
2) Since there is no physical pleasure derived from speaking/hearing Lashon Hara, doing so is deemed to be a rebellious act against Hashem (Mered) and a senseless rejection of the yoke of Heaven (Prikas Ol), and thus deemed a Chilul Hashem.
This is even more so if the one speaking the Lashon Hara is a respectable person who people look up to, which exacerbates the Chilul Hashem aspect of what he is doing.
Moreover, if the Lashon Hara is being spoken in public, it makes the sin all the more harsh, as then it is deemed a public desecration of Hashem’s name, Chas V’shalom.
The Heavenly retribution for the sin of Chilul Hashem is unspeakable, and this sin should be avoided at all costs. (See Talmud Kidusin 40a and the last Rashi on the page. See also Pirkei Avos Perek 4 Mishna 4)
Halachos for Thursday, February 4, 2021
1) #7 of 17 is:
לֹֽא־תִשְׂנָ֥א אֶת־אָחִ֖יךָ בִּלְבָבֶ֑ךָ
One who speaks Lashon Hara about another Jew, behind is back, often transgresses the sin of harboring hate in your heart for another Jew, as it states (Vayikra 19:17) Lo Sisna es Achicha B’levavecha
2) This sin would be transgressed if, when in the presence of the one he is speaking about he pretends to be at peace with him, and only when he is not in that person’s presence, he speaks ill of him to others.
This transgression is surely applicable if the one speaking specifically tells the ones he is speaking to that they should not repeat what he said to the one it was about.
One who disparages another Jew to his face, does not transgress this specific sin (though he transgresses quite a few other ones, especially if it’s in public)
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, February 5, 2021;
Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) #8 and #9 of 17 are:
לֹֽא־תִקֹּ֤ם וְלֹֽא־תִטֹּר֙ אֶת־בְּנֵ֣י עַמֶּ֔ךָ
One who speaks Lashon Hara about another Jew, often transgresses the sin of taking revenge, or harboring a grudge in your heart against another Jew, as it states (Vayikra 19:18) Lo Sikom V’Lo Sitor Es Bnei Amecha
2) An example of this would be, if one asked a monetary favor of another Jew and he declined to assist him (e.g. rejected his request to borrow money), and he now bears hate in his heart toward him for this refusal.
Then when he subsequently observes something negative about the one for whom he has hate in his heart, he goes and publicizes it.
The original harboring of the grudge in his heart is a transgression of “Lo SItor”, and the subsequent relating of the negative things he observes, brought about due to harboring this grudge, is a transgression of “Lo Sikom”. As difficult as this may seem, the Torah mandates that he remove the grudge from his heart.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) Regarding the one listening to the Lashon Hara, if he too assists and enjoys what he is hearing, as he too was once the victim of the same person’s non-assistance, he too will transgress these two prohibitions.
2) Unfortunately, this is all too common, as ‘misery loves company’, and all too often when one feels hurt by someone the natural response is to seek out another person who was also hurt by that person and to disparage him together, in hopes of making themselves feel better.
This is a trap of the Yetzer Hra and must be avoided at all costs.
Halachos for Sunday February 7, 2021
1) #10 of 17 is:
לֹֽא־יָקוּם֩ עֵ֨ד אֶחָ֜ד בְּאִ֗ישׁ לְכָל־עָוֹן֙ וּלְכָל־חַטָּ֔את
One who gives testimony about another Jew to a Bais Din, without having a second witness corroborating his testimony, transgresses the sin of rising up alone against another to proclaim his sins and iniquities, as it states (Devarim 19: 15) Lo Yakum Eid Echad B’Ish L’Kol Avon U’Lkol Chatos. (Of course, if one has a second witness to corroborate what he is saying, or if he feels Bais din may have someone else to join him in his testimony, that can be a perfectly acceptable testimony, and he should discuss with a Rav if he may/must come forward)
2) The reason for this is that such testimony, without a second witness, is worthless and has no tangible benefit. Bais Din cannot adjudicate a monetary ruling based on his lone testimony, nor can they require the party being spoken about to swear, nor can they effect the reputation (Yichus) of the one being spoken about based on this testimony. (Of course, in situations where Bais Din can compel the party to swear, it would be allowed. We are not elaborating on that here. In all cases, a Rav must be consulted)
Thus his testimony is deemed baseless Lashon Hara (and it also carries the penalty of Malkos)
If the Bais Din accepts his testimony as truth, they too transgress this prohibition.
Halachos for Monday, February 8, 2021
1) The transgressions we enumerated until now were for any individual who speaks/listens to Lashon Hara.
2) #11 of 17 is
לֹא־תִֽהְיֶ֥ה אַֽחֲרֵֽי־רַבִּ֖ים לְרָעֹ֑ת
One who attaches himself/herself to an unscrupulous group of individuals, i.e. a bad Chevra of Ba’alei Lashon Hara, for the purpose of gossiping to them or listening to gossip from them, transgresses the sin of following an evil majority, as it states (Shemos 23:2) Lo Sih’yeh Acharei Rabim L’Ra’os.
This transgression is not just for Lashon Hara; it also applies in general to one who clings to a bad group who engage in sinful activities.This should be avoided at all costs.
Halachos for Tuesday, February 9, 2021
1) #12 of 17 is:
וְלֹא־יִֽהְיֶ֤ה כְקֹ֨רַח֙ וְכַ֣עֲדָת֔וֹ
One who speaks Lashon Hara and thereby supports an ongoing quarrel (Machlokes), transgresses the sin of supporting quarrels , as it states (Bamidbar 17:5) V’Lo Yih’yeh K’Korach U’K’adaso.
2) It is possible that this transgression applies as well to the one listening to Lashon Hara, and not only to the one who is speaking, as if the listener would have made it clear – verbally or via a facial or gesture of disappointment – that he has no interest in hearing this gossip and thereby continuing to support this quarrel, it would have quelled the quarrel.
Halachos for Wednesday, February 10, 2021
1) #13 of 17 is:
וְלֹ֤א תוֹנוּ֙ אִ֣ישׁ אֶת־עֲמִית֔וֹ
If one relates Lashon Hara in the presence of the one being spoken about and thereby causes him anguish, he transgresses the sin of O’nas Devarim, verbally distressing another person , as it states (Vayikra 25:17) Lo Sonu Ish Es Amiso. (See Talmud Bava Metzia 58b and Tur Choshen Mishpat Siman 228:1 that verbally hurting someone is worse than physically hurting them)
2) This transgression applies only to the one relating Lashon Hara and not to the one hearing it.
Furthermore, this transgression applies even if the only one present is the one being disparaged, and no other people are there to hear him being verbally battered.
Halachos for Thursday, February 11, 2021
1) #14 of 17 is:
וְלֹֽא־תִשָּׂ֥א עָלָ֖יו חֵֽטְא
If when speaking Lashon Hara in the presence of the victim, he/she gets embarrassed, and displays a facial color change, he transgresses the sin of shaming another Jew and thus bearing a sin on another’s account , as it states (Vayikra 19:17) V’Lo Sisa Alav Chet.
2) This Torah directive is to be cautious not to embarrass another Jew, even while rebuking him in a Torah-mandated, constructive way, even with no other people present. How much more so does this sin apply when doing it blatantly for gossip purposes, with no constructive purpose, and with other people there to witness his shame.
Chazal have already taught us (Pirkei Avos Perek 3 Mishna 11/Mishna 15 in some versions) that one who embarrasses another Jew publicly, forfeits his portion in Olam Haba, the World to Come.
This is a serious transgression and must be taken very seriously.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, February 12, 2021; Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) #15 of 17 is:
כָּל־אַלְמָנָ֥ה וְיָת֖וֹם לֹ֥א תְעַנּֽוּן
If the one being spoken about is a widow or an orphan (even if they are financially wealthy) if it is in their presence, he transgresses the sin of oppressing a widow or an orphan , as it states (Shemos 22:21) Kol Almana V’Yasom Lo Se’anun.
2) This particular sin is only transgressed by the one speaking and not by anyone who is listening to what is being spoken.
However, anyone listening to a widow or orphan being verbally harassed , and sits idly by without coming to their defense, surely will get a heavenly punishment for their inaction, as there is a special requirement to treat widows and orphans with extra compassion and sensitivity. (See Rambam at length in Sefer Hamitzvos Mitzvah 256)
Some Rishonim maintain that this transgression applies to all downtrodden and exploited people, not just to orphans and widows. (See Rashi to Shemos 22:21)
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) #16 of 17 is:
וְלֹא־תַֽחֲנִ֣יפוּ אֶת־הָאָ֗רֶץ
If the one relating the Lashon Hara is doing so to flatter the one he is relating it to, he transgresses the sin of Chanifa, flattery , as it states (Bamidbar 35:33) V’Lo Sachnifu Es Ha’aretz.
A classic example of such Chanifa is if the one relating the Lashon Hara knows that the one he is speaking to harbors a dislike for the one who the Lashon Hara is about, and thus he hopes to find favor in the eyes of the one he is talking to via sharing something negative with him about the one who he dislikes.
2) It is, unfortunately, very common when hearing Lashon Hara about someone, that the one listening adds to the Lashon Hara, either by interjecting his own “two cents” or by nodding his head in agreement.
Often the one listening does this, despite knowing that what he is hearing, and his nodding or verbal participation, is against halacha, yet he does it due to the fact that the one who is speaking is a “respectable” person or someone that the listener wants to get a political or other favor from. Sometimes the listener fears that if he does not nod in agreement or participate, the speaker will label him as an unwise person who doesn’t have an opinion about the subject at hand.
Even though it is often difficult to refrain from such nodding or participation in this conversation, it is important to note that the Torah mandates him avoiding this at all costs, lest he transgress the sin of Chanifah by adding to the Lashon Hara with even one gesture or word of agreement to what is being spoken.
Moreover, the one listening is required to rebuke the one speaking for what he is saying, and if he refrains from rebuking him (where the rebuke would have been accepted) he is considered to be transgressing Chanifah simply by virtue of his remaining silent in place of standing up and giving rebuke.
Halachos for Sunday February 14, 2021
1) #17 of 17 is:
לֹֽא־תְקַלֵּ֣ל חֵרֵ֔שׁ
If while one is angrily speaking Lashon Hara, he curses the one he is speaking about, and does so using the name of Hashem (even in English or another language) he transgresses the sin of cursing another Jew, as it states (Vayikra 19:14) Lo Sekalel Cheresh. (even though the Posuk states “Do not curse a deaf person, Chazal learn that it means “even” a deaf person who can’t hear you, but certainly a person who can hear you. See Shulchan Aruch Choshen Mishpat Siman 27:1 and commentary of the Sma there.)
2) Even though this sin is not for the transgression of speaking Lashon Hara per se, the Chofetz Chaim listed it along with the other 16 transgressions that are directly attributed to the actual Lashon Hara, as sadly, it is all too common to transgress this sin in conjunction with the other transgressions of Lashon Hara.
This sin is transgressed regardless if the person being cursed is present or not.
Halachos for Monday, February 15, 2021
1) Besides for the 17 negative commandments that can be transgressed by speaking Lashon Hara, there are also many positive commandments that are lost by virtue of speaking Lashon Hara (Bitul Mitzvas Asei, which is also a sin)
#1 of 14 of the positive commandments abandoned by speaking Lashon Hara is:
זָכ֕וֹר אֵ֧ת אֲשֶׁר־עָשָׂ֛ה ה' אֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ לְמִרְיָ֑ם בַּדֶּ֖רֶךְ בְּצֵֽאתְכֶ֥ם מִמִּצְרָֽיִם
One who speaks Lashon Hara most likely has forgotten about (at least for a few moments) the punishment that Hashem meted out to the righteous prophetess, Miriam, for speaking Lashon Hara, thus foregoing the positive commandment to remember this event, as it states (Devarim 24:9) Zachor Es Asher Asah Hashem Elokecha L’Miriam B’Derech B’Tzeischem Mimitzrayim.
Miriam loved her brother, Moshe Rabbeinu, and raised him, and put herself in danger to save him. Miriam did not speak in a degrading way about him. She did not speak in front of him in a way that would embarrass him. She did not speak about him publicly, and Moshe was not offended by her words. Yet, the Torah tells us that she was punished for her words.
How much more careful must we be with Lashon Hara when our intentions are far less noble, and there is degradation, humiliation, hurt feelings, and an audience involved!
2) It is due to the severity of the sin of Lashon Hara that the Torah commanded us to verbally and in mentally keep the story of Miriam in our mind constantly! (This is one of the 6 constant remembrances in the Torah)
Halachos for Tuesday, February 16, 2021
1) #2 of 14 of the positive commandments abandoned by speaking Lashon Hara is:
וְאָֽהַבְתָּ֥ לְרֵֽעֲךָ֖ כָּמ֑וֹךָ
One who speaks or listens to Lashon Hara foregoes the Torah commandment to be careful with others’ money and others’ feelings the way he would be careful with his own money and feelings , as it states (Vayikra 19:18) V’Ahavta L’Rayacha kamocha.
2) Speaking or listening to Lashon Hara shows that you don’t love the person who the Lashon Hara is about.
Just as every individual has flaws, faults, shortcomings and weaknesses, yet does everything in his/her power to hide those failings from becoming known, and even when they are related to others, they hope that the ones hearing about it won’t accept the information as true (even if it is the truth), so too must every Jew act in regard to their fellow Jew, and not spread their failings to others, and not listen and believe what is related to them about others.
Rather, every Jew must try and speak positively about others and praise them – and also work to hide their fellow Jew’s imperfections – as that is a true expression of loving one another as we love ourselves, and that is what the Torah demands of us.
Halachos for Wednesday, February 17, 2021
1) #3 of 14 of the positive commandments abandoned by speaking Lashon Hara is:
בְּצֶ֖דֶק תִּשְׁפֹּ֥ט עֲמִיתֶֽךָ
At times, one who speaks Lashon Hara foregoes the Torah commandment to judge another Jew favorably, as it states (Vayikra 19:15) B’Tzedek Tishpot Amisecha.
2) This would be the case if one heard another Jew saying something, or saw another Jew doing something that can be interpreted two ways – one that will put that person in a negative light and one that won’t – and he went ahead and judged him unfavorably and related the story,with the critical interpretation , to another person.
If the one hearing the Lashon Hara accepts it with the negative interpretation and thus deems the person spoken about as having said or done a negative thing, he too forgoes on this commandment.
Halachos for Thursday, February 18, 2021
1) #4 of 14 of the positive commandments forfeited by speaking Lashon Hara is:
וְהֶֽחֱזַ֣קְתָּ בּ֔וֹ גֵּ֧ר וְתוֹשָׁ֛ב וָחַ֖י עִמָּֽךְ
If one speaks negatively about a fellow Jew, and due to spreading this negativity about him/her, it leads to their reputation being sullied, and to their losing their livelihood, he foregoes the Torah commandment to support other Jews and enable them to live amongst you, as it states (Vayikra 25:35) V’Hechezakta Bo Ger V’Toshav V’Chai Imach
2) Furthermore, the very next Posuk (Vayikra 25:36) proclaims וְחֵ֥י אָחִ֖יךָ עִמָּֽךְ, V’Chay Achicah Imach, a Torah commandment to “Let your brother live with you!”,which is a directive to support fellow Jews in their financial pursuits in any way that you can, and surely not to speak against him/her or otherwise do any actions to make him/her lose money!
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, February 19, 2021;
Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) #5 of 14 of the positive commandments possibly forfeited by engaging in Lashon Hara is:
הוֹכֵ֤חַ תּוֹכִ֨יחַ֙ אֶת־עֲמִיתֶ֔ךָ
Oftentimes, the one listening to Lashon Hara knows that what he is about to hear (and accept) is Lashon Hara or Rechilus, and he knows that if he rebukes the one speaking he will accept the rebuke and refrain from continuing to speak. In this situation, the Torah demands that the listener reprimand the speaker, and thus put a stop to the forbidden speech.
If the one listening does not put a stop to it, and allows the speaker to keep talking, he foregoes the Torah commandment to rebuke a fellow Jew who is sinning, as it states (Vayikra 19:17) Ho’chayach To’chiach Es Amisecha
2) Even if the one listening is in doubt if what he is about to hear is Lashon Hara or Rechus, he must reprimand the speaker, to stop him in his tracks, lest he speak forbidden speech.
Halachos for v Shabbos Kodesh
1) #6 of 14 of the positive commandments possibly forfeited by speaking Lashon Hara is:
וּב֣וֹ תִדְבָּ֔ק
If one attaches himself to a group of evildoers, to a group of gossipers, for the purpose of spreading lashon Hara to them or to hear Lashon Hara from them, he foregoes the Torah commandment to cleave to Hashem, i.e. to attach oneself to Torah scholars in any way possible, as it states (Devarim 10:20) U’Bo Sidbok. (See Talmud Kesuvos 111b)
2) #7 of 14 of the positive commandments possibly forfeited by engaging in Lashon Hara is:
וּמִקְדָּשִׁ֖י תִּירָ֑אוּ
If one speaks or listens to Lashon Hara in a Bais Medrash or a Shul (Bais Hakneses), he foregoes the Torah commandment to treat Hashem’s sanctuaries (Mikdashei Me’at) with reverence and awe, as it states (Vayikra 26:2) U’Mikdashi Ti’ra'u
Halachos for Sunday February 21, 2021
1) #8 of 14 of the positive commandments possibly forfeited by engaging in Lashon Hara is:
וְהָֽדַרְתָּ֖ פְּנֵ֣י זָקֵ֑ן
If one speaks Lashon Hara about a person over the age of 70 (even if he is not a Torah scholar, provided that he is not a Rasha; See Shulchan Aruch Yoreh deah Siman 244:1) he foregoes the Torah commandment to respect elderly people, as it states (Vayikra 19:32) V’Hadarta P’nei Zaken.
One who speaks Lashon Hara about a Talmid Chacham (surely in his presence, and possibly even not in his presence) even if he isn’t elderly in age, is also liable for foregoing the this commandment.
It is questionable if the one listening to Lashon Hara being spoken about an elderly person and/or the Talmid Chacham forgoes this positive commandment as well.
2) If the one being spoken about is both elderly and a Talmid Chacham, the one speaking about him (and possibly the ones listening too) forego this commandment twice! (besides for the terrible sin of degrading a Torah scholar, which can transform the one speaking into an Apikores, a heretic, who loses his portion in the world to come, a subject we will elaborate on more in the future)
Halachos for Monday, February 22, 2021
1) #9 of 14 of the positive commandments possibly forfeited by engaging in Las’hon Hara is:
וְקִ֨דַּשְׁתּ֔וֹ
If one speaks Lashon Hara about a Kohen (surely in his presence, and possibly even behind his back), he foregoes the Torah commandment to sanctify a Kohen, as it states (Vayikra 21:8) V’Kidashto.
2) It is possible that the one listening to the Lashon Hara about the Kohen also is disrespecting him, and thus also foregoes this commandment.
Halachos for Tuesday, February 23, 2021
1) #10 of 14 of the positive commandments possibly forfeited by engaging in Lashon Hara is:
כַּבֵּ֥ד אֶת־אָבִ֖יךָ וְאֶת־אִמֶּ֑ךָ
If one speaks Lashon Hara about his older brother, his mother’s husband or his father’s wife (in their presence, and possibly also not in their presence) he foregoes the Torah commandment to honor them, as Chazal derive from the extra word (Shemos 20:12) [Kabed Es Avicha] V’Es [Imecha].
2) Surely if one speaks Lashon Hara about his father or mother, he foregoes on the Torah commandment to honor his parents, as it states (Shemos 20:12) Kabed Es Avicha V’Es Imecha.
This applies even not in their presence.
Halachos for Wednesday, February 24, 2021
1) #11 of 14 of the positive commandments forfeited by engaging in Lashon Hara is:
אֶת־ה' אֱלֹהֶ֛יךָ תִּירָ֖א
One who speaks or listens to Lashon Hara foregoes the Torah commandment to fear Hashem and to be cognizant of the fact that Hashem sees everything that transpires at all times, and thus one must always hold back from doing things that are against the will of Hashem, as it states (Devarim 6:13) Es Hashem Elokecha Tira.
2) #12 of 14 of the positive commandments forfeited by engaging in Lashon Hara is:
וְשִׁנַּנְתָּ֣ם
During the time that one is speaking or listening to Lashon Hara he foregoes the Torah commandment to learn Torah, as it states (Devarim 6:7) V’Shinantam.
Halachos for Thursday, February 25, 2021
1) #13 of 14 of the positive commandments possibly forfeited by engaging in Lashon Hara is:
מִדְּבַר־שֶׁ֖קֶר תִּרְחָ֑ק
If while speaking Lashon Hara, the speaker peppers his story with lies, misrepresentations and distortions, he forgoes the Torah commandment to stay far away from falsehood, as it states (Shemos 23:7) Midvar Sheker Tirchak
2) #14 of 14 of the positive commandments forfeited by engaging in Lashon Hara is:
וְהָֽלַכְתָּ֖ בִּדְרָכָֽיו
One who speaks or listens to Lashon Hara, forgoes the Torah commandment to emulate the character traits (Midos) of Hashem, which are all good, as it states (Devarim 28:9) V’Halachta B’Drachav.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, February 26, 2021;
Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halacha for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) So far, we enumerated 17 negative Torah commandments (Lav) and 14 positive Torah commandments (Asei) which can be transgressed when one engages in Lashon Hara and Rechilus.
2) While one does not transgress all of them each time he/she speaks Lashon Hara, one who habitually speaks Lashon Hara, Chas V’Shalom, will, with time, end up transgressing most, if not all of them multiple times and cause much spiritual harm to himself and his family R”L, including via the curses that the Torah prescribes for ba’alei Lashon Hara, as we shall now learn.
Halacha for Shabbos Kodesh
1) In addition to the many negative and positive Torah commandments that are transgressed by engaging in lashon Hara, there are 4 Torah curses that can unfortunately be applicable to one who speaks or listens to Lashon Hara.
2) #1 of the 4 curses is:
אָר֕וּר מַכֵּ֥ה רֵעֵ֖הוּ בַּסָּ֑תֶר
One who speaks Lashon Hara is afflicted with the Torah curse reserved for one who strikes his friend secretly, as the posuk (Devarim 27:24) states Arur Makeh Ray’eihu BaSaser. (The “Striking” here is referring to Lashon Hara. See Rashi on the Posuk and Pirkei Drav Eliezer Perek 53)
Halachos for Sunday February 28, 2021
1) #2 of the 4 curses is:
אָר֕וּר מַשְׁגֶּ֥ה עִוֵּ֖ר בַּדָּ֑רֶךְ
One who speaks Lashon Hara is afflicted with the Torah curse reserved for one who misguides a blind person, as the posuk (Devarim 27:18) states Arur Mashgeh Iver Baderech.
2) The criteria for getting this curse is similar to the criteria for transgressing the negative commandment of “Lifnei Iver Lo Siten Michshol” as we discussed previously.
This curse also includes anyone who misguides another Jew with advice that isn’t really proper for him, or with counsel that benefits the one giving the advice, but not the one seeking it.
The Chofetz Chaim Zatzal (in his Be’er L’Miriam commentary, on this curse) bemoans the fact that this is all too common with shadchanim and other agents and brokers, where they are unfortunately too loose or disingenuous with their “advice” in their quest to push through a shidduch or a deal for their own monetary or other benefit , and it often leads to misguiding and hurting people and thus transgressing this commandment and being subject to this curse R”L.
Halachos for Monday, March 1, 2021
1) #3 of the 4 curses is:
אָר֗וּר אֲשֶׁ֧ר לֹֽא־יָקִ֛ים אֶת־דִּבְרֵ֥י הַתּוֹרָֽה־הַזֹּ֖את לַֽעֲשׂ֣וֹת אוֹתָ֑ם
If, Chas V’Shalom, one totally disregards the prohibition of Lashon Hara and Rechilus, and dismissively ignores the seriousness of it, and doesn’t even try to hold back from engaging in such forbidden speech, he is subject to the Tora’s curse reserved for one who does not [even try to] uphold the Torah, as the posuk (Devarim 27:26) states Arur Asher Lo Yakim Es Divrei Hatorah Hazos La’asos Osam.
2) Furthermore, this person is deemed a “Mumar L’Davar Echad”, (an apostate in regards to this mitzvah) and thus deemed a “Mumar L’Kol Hatorah Kulah (a heretic in regards to the entire Torah R”L) (See Rabeinu Yonah n Sha’arei Teshva , Sha’ar 1:6)
Halachos for Tuesday, March 2, 2021
1) #4 of the 4 curses is:
אָר֕וּר מַקְלֶ֥ה אָבִ֖יו וְאִמּ֑וֹ
One who speaks Lashon Hara about his parents is subject to the Torah’s curse against degrading one’s parents, as it states (Devarim 27:16) Arur Asher Makleh Aviv V’Imo
2) The Talmud (Shavuos 36a) teaches that where there is a curse there is also Nidui, Heavenly expulsion.
A person who knows that he/she was not careful with the serious transgressions of Lashon Hara and Rechilus should do some serious introspection, lest they be subject to Heavenly expulsion Chas V'shalom.
HILCHOS LASHON HARA PART 2:
Halachos for Sunday May 9, 2021
We will now, B’Ezras Hashem, resume studying some of the vital Halachos of ‘Lashon Hara’, which we started before Pesach.
As we mentioned at the outset of studying this topic, we are, of course, using the ‘Sefer Chofetz Chaim’, written by Harav Yisroel Meir Hakohen Kagan of Radin, the holy Chofetz Chaim Zatzal , who is universally known by the title of this Sefer.
All Halachos that are presented without any additional source information, are taken directly from the words of the holy Chofetz Chaim (who is also the author of Mishna Berura) , who is often accepted as “the last word” on matters pertaining to Halacha in general , and surely, as they pertain to the Halachos of Lashon Hara.
May we eradicate Lashon Hara from our lives, and thereby merit the Geulah Shelaima, with the arrival of Mashiach Tzidkeinu B’meheira B’Yameinu!
1) There are 2 types of Lashon Hara:
a) Relating something derogatory about another Jew.
b) Relating something that, if publicized, can cause physical, financial or emotional damage to another Jew.
2) Both of these varieties are equally prohibited and are both Torah transgressions.
Thus, even if the one speaking Lashon Hara is 100% sure that no damage will befall the one being spoken about, it is still prohibited.
Halachos for Monday, May 10, 2021
1) If one relates something about another Jew, which if it becomes known will cause damage to the one being spoken about, even if there is nothing intrinsically derogatory about what is being related, it is Lashon Hara and thus prohibited.
2) Even if one is not speaking directly about another person, if something he relates can lead to another person being damaged or degraded (and the speaker does it in this roundabout way, with the intention of it leading to the other person being hurt or degraded) this too is Lashon Hara and prohibited. (Chazal refer to this as Lashon Hara B’Tzina, discreet Lashon Hara)
Halachos for Tuesday, May 11, 2021
1) Lashon Hara can be subjective, and can vary based on the person it is being spoken about, the place, the time and the like.
Something can be related about one individual for whom it is deemed a praise, while the same item related about another individual can be deemed derogatory.
2) For example, one can make a statement like “So and So gave $100 to the Shul’s Tzedakah campaign”.
If the person it is being related about is a wealthy person, it can be deemed a derogatory statement, while if the person being spoken about struggles financially, it can be deemed a praise.
Halachos for Wednesday, May 12, 2021
1) The prohibition of speaking Lashon Hara and Rechilus applies only to speaking about a Jew who is considered your “Fellow Jew” (Amisecha), i.e. he/she is observant of the Torah’s laws and follows the Torah’s commandments.
2) However, one may not arbitrarily deem another Jew as not being Torah observant based on one’s own definition or one’s own biases.
It is important to be well versed in the Torah’s definition of who is considered a “fellow Jew” and who is not before arbitrarily transgressing the severe prohibitions of Lashon Hara, based on one’s own definitions.
We will discuss more about this definition as we progress.
Halachos for Thursday, May 13, 2021
1) It is prohibited to relate about another Jew that he/she transgressed a Torah commandment.
2) This applies equally to positive commandments (such as saying, “He didn’t put on Tefilin today") and to negative commandments (such as saying “She ate something non-kosher")
This is the case even if the transgression in question is one that, sadly, many people are not careful with.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, May 14, 2021
Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) It is prohibited to relate about another Jew that he/she is not scrupulous in the proper respect of Mitzvos that they perform , such as saying that they are stingy in their spending in honor of Shabbos Kodesh.
2) It is likewise prohibited to relate about another Jew that they are not careful with a Rabbinic law or a Rabbinic edicts (such as a S’yag, fence, enacted to protect from transgressing an actual sin)
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) In all of the aforementioned cases, it is forbidden to relate about another Jew’s transgressions, even if we know it to be factual, as we must assume that they didn’t know the severity of the sin that they did or that they did it inadvertently.
2) Furthermore, if from the time that he/she was observed transgressing the sin, they were not observed transgressing it a second time, and furthermore they are otherwise behaving as an upstanding, observant Jew, we assume that they repented for that particular transgression, and are now deemed a proper Ba’al Teshuva. (If all of the above assumptions are not applicable, and they are not behaving as upstanding observant Jews in their daily lives, it may be permitted to relate their actions to others. We will discuss those rules and when they can be applied, as we progress)
Halachos for Sunday May 16, 2021
Triple Portion L'Kavod Chag HaShavus
Halachos for Sunday, Erev Chag HaShavuos
1) It is prohibited to relate about another Jew that he is not interested in learning Torah, even if he habitually ignores his obligation to study Torah.
2) The reason for this is that we assume that he is not aware of the severity of not studying Torah, and thus for this transgression alone, he has not forfeited his classification as a “fellow Jew”.
Halachos for Monday, First Day of Chag HaShavuos
1) It is prohibited to relate about another Jew that he refuses to lend money to those in need.
2) Similarly, it is prohibited to relate about another Jew that he/she is not a kind and giving person, and he does not do favors for people.
This is the case even if we know that they habitually do not do kindness with anyone, even when it is within their means to do so. Although this is indeed not a way for a Jew to live his/her life and indeed quite “Un-Jewish” to not be kind (See Talmud Yevamos 79a) , still this does not strip them of their classification of a “fellow Jew”, and all the laws of Lashon Hara apply to them.
Halachos for Tuesday, Second Day of Chag HaShavuos (Isru Chag in Eretz Yisroel)
1) It is forbidden to relate about another Jew that he/she is not intelligent.
This is the case even if what the intention to relate is that they aren’t “worldly”, which is still a negative thing to say.
2) Surely, it is forbidden to relate about someone who is recognized as a “Talmid Chacham” that “he isn’t as wise as people think he is” or similar negative comments, such as saying about a Rav of a Shul that “He is only knowledgeable in Halachos relevant to day-to-day operation of the community, but is not so knowledgeable in other areas of Torah”.
Similarly, it is forbidden to say about a respected Talmid Chacham in a city that “I know him from when he used to live in a different city… over there they didn’t respect him as much…” .
Likewise, it is forbidden to say about a public speaker, “He isn’t worth listening to” or “ He is not as interesting as people say he is” or “ He doesn’t know what he is talking about” or any similar negative comment.
Halachos for Wednesday, May 19, 2021
1) It is prohibited to relate about a Jewish worker or service provider that he is not good at what he does.
For example, it is prohibited to say about a plumber or a seamstress that they do a less than perfect job or about an accountant or an attorney that their response time is slow, or the like.
2)In certain cases, where there is a To’eles, a valid reason, to share this information, it may be allowed when certain criteria are met.
We will discuss more about THE 7 CONDITIONS of To’eles and when it may be relied upon as we progress. Until you know ALL 7, assume you may NOT relate it!
Halachos for Thursday, May 20, 2021
1) Just as it is prohibited to speak Lashon Hara about an individual, so too, it is prohibited to speak Lashon Hara about someone’s things.
2) For example, it is prohibited for a storeowner to degrade or speak negatively about the wares of a competitor, or any such similar knocking of someone else’s merchandise.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, May 21, 2021
Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) It is prohibited to relate about another Jew that he is physically weak, if this information can cause him a loss.
2) For example, if the person being spoken about is a laborer or in another profession that requires strength, relating this information will be viewed negatively and cause him to lose jobs and lead to a financial loss for him.
The same applies to a teacher or a childcare provider who deals with small children, as relating that they are weak will convey the message that they lack energy and stamina to care for children, and will lead to them losing jobs or losing applicants.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) It is forbidden to relate about another Jew that he is poor or otherwise struggling financially.
Furthermore, it is prohibited to relate about another Jew who has a reputation for being wealthy, that he is not as wealthy as people think, and that the money he spends actually puts him into debt.
2) The reason for this is that relating such information may lead to him being denied credit by people in the city, which can be damaging to him on many levels.
Halachos for Sunday May 23, 2021
1) It is forbidden to relate about another Jew that he was inappropriately arrogant or that he got angry when he shouldn’t have, or he otherwise displayed poor character (Midos Ra’os), as we must assume that he regrets his behavior and did Teshuva on his actions.
2) Furthermore, even if he habitually acts in this manner, and it is evident that he does not feel remorse for behaving in such a manner, it is still forbidden to relate to others what he did and how he acted, as we must assume that he is not fully aware of the prohibition to behave with inferior Midos.
Halachos for Monday May 24, 2021
1) As a general rule, when it comes to “Midos”, there is no one way that is right or wrong for everyone, and no one way that is proper for each situation.
For example, there are times where acting with anger, jealousy, zealousness and the like is highly inappropriate, and times when it is indeed warranted according to the Torah. (The entire Sefer Orchos Tzadikim is based on this premise, where he discusses various Midos, and their appropriate and inappropriate applications)
2) Thus, due to the many variables, based on the individual in question, the circumstances, the venue, the time etc., it is never possible to know exactly what transpired and why an individual acted a certain way which seemingly was without good Midos, and certainly we may not deem someone a Rasha based on observing him /her behaving with “bad” Midos.
Halachos for Tuesday May 25, 2021
1) If something inappropriate transpires, and an individual inquires as to who did it, it is forbidden to reveal who the offender was.
2) Even if the one being asked (Reuven) perceives that the one asking (Shimon) suspects him (Reuven) of being the guilty party, it is still forbidden to reveal who did it.
Instead, he (Reuven) should just say, “ I did not do it”.
Halachos for Wednesday, May 26, 2021
1) If something inappropriate transpires, and by simply saying to the one inquiring about who did it that “I did not do it” , it will be plainly evident who the real guilty party is (For example, if there were only 2 possible contenders , and by exonerating himself, he will automatically be implying that the other person was the guilty party) it would depend on what type of infraction is being discussed, as follows:
2) If the inappropriate thing that transpired was intrinsically inappropriate, seemingly it is halachically permissible to clear your own name of having done it by saying "I did not do it” even if by doing so it will automatically be clear who actually did it.
However, if the thing that transpired wasn’t actually inappropriate, but only seemed that way to one inquiring about it, it is questionable if it permissible to say “ I did not do it” if it will thereby be clear that the other person did it.
Halachos for Thursday, May 27, 2021
1) We mentioned yesterday that there are situations where one may say “I did not do it” in order to exonerate himself from having done something inappropriate, even if by doing so it will automatically place the blame on another individual who actually did the inappropriate thing.
2) However, that is only according to the letter of the law, that he is permitted to say “I did not do it”.
A scrupulous person (Ba’al Nefesh) , however, should go beyond the letter of the law (Lifnim Mishuras Hadin) and avoid saying I did not do it” if by doing so it will implicate another person, and thus cause him embarrassment.
Note: This entire case that we are discussing applies when the one inquiring about who did it, has no actual connection to the situation, and is just curious as to who did it. However, if the information is actually pertinent to him, the halacha may be different, and we will discuss that more at length as we progress in this topic, B'Ezras Hashem, and discuss the halachos of To’eles and their criteria.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, May 28, 2021
Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) Not only is actual Lashon Hara prohibited, even “Avak Lashon Hara” is prohibited.
Avak Lashon Hara, which literally translates as “The dust of Lashon Hara”, refers to any speech which provokes or leads to actual forbidden speech by others, even if the initial comment is not Lashon Hara per se.
This is a rabbinical prohibition.
2) Even if the Lashon Hara item that was ultimately related would have been said anyway, even without the provocation of the “Avak Lashon Hara” in question, it is still forbidden to say it.
Surely, if the Avak Lashon Hara is the sole reason that led others to “pick up where you left off” and turn it into actual forbidden speech, it is prohibited.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) Many times, one who utters “Avak Lashon Hara” which leads to actual Lashon Hara being spoken by others, will also transgress the biblical transgression of “Lifnei Iver Lo Siten Michshol” the prohibition to put a stumbling block in front of another Jew, i.e. the prohibition to cause another Jew to sin.
2) Even though rabbinical prohibitions must be taken just as seriously as biblical transgressions, some people, unfortunately, do not grasp their severity and are lax with rabbinical edicts and laws. (This is a lengthy topic in its own right, that perhaps we will one day delve into.)
Thus, when it comes to Avak Lashon Hara, which is rabbinical in nature, it is important to keep in mind that besides for its own severity as a rabbinically enacted sin, very often, being lax with Avak Lashon Hara will lead to actual Biblical sins, such as Lifnei Iver, actual Lashon Hara as the conversation evolves, On'as Devarim, Malbin Penei Chaveiro and other biblical sins R”L.
Halachos for Sunday May 30, 2021
1) It is forbidden to say about someone “Who would have thought that he would turn out the way he is now”.
Such a statement is deemed Avak Lashon Hara.
2) It is forbidden to say “I do not want to tell you what transpired with so-and-so”.
This too is deemed Avak Lashon Hara.
The reason is, that these type of statements almost inevitably lead to someone picking up on the cue and turning the conversation into full blown Lashon Hara.
Halachos for Monday May 31, 2021
1) Speaking Lashon Hara via hints or via gestures, nods and the like is no different than overtly speaking Lashon Hara. Doing so is not Avak Lashon Hara; it is regular, biblically prohibited Lashon Hara, as you are relating something that is forbidden to be related, and happen to be doing it via a method that is less explicit.
2) If someone asks you information about someone , you may not say “Sorry, I do not want to speak Lashon Hara about him”, as saying that will still be considered Lashon Hara, as this response clearly conveys that there is something negative to relate.
Doing so is not Avak Lashon Hara; it is regular, biblically prohibited Lashon Hara.
Halachos for Tuesday June 1, 2021
1) It is prohibited (due to Avak Lashon Hara) to overly praise someone, as doing so will invariably lead someone who is listening to the praise (or the speaker himself) to interject with something negative (Actual Lashon Hara) about the one being praised.
2) Sadly, it is human nature (usually due to insecurity, lack of self-confidence and self-respect or due to jealousy, guilt, animosity or other negative traits) that when people hear too much good about others, it lead them to “remind” those listening that the one being spoken about isn’t all that good; he has negative aspects too. They mistakenly think that putting someone down will make themselves rise higher. Nothing could be further from the truth; the only way to truly rise, is by lifting others up.
Yes, our job, as Torah observant Yidden, is to work on ourselves and to change our nature and perfect our character to uproot negative tendencies, but we still have to assume that not everyone around us (nor ourselves) has properly done so, and thus hearing (or speaking) too much praise about someone, will lead to them (or to the speaker himself) needing to “dampen it” with a dose of negativity.
Halachos for Wednesday, June 2, 2021
1) We mentioned yesterday that it is forbidden to shower someone with too much praise lest it lead the conversation to also focus on the negative aspects of the one being spoken about.
2) In certain cases, it would be forbidden to praise the person even a little bit.
For example, if by saying a certain praise about an individual, it will be plainly evident that he is lacking in other areas and thus convey negativity about him, it is forbidden to relate even a little of that praise about him in the first place.
Halachos for Thursday, June 3, 2021
1) It is prohibited to praise an individual in the presence of someone who dislikes him, as it will inevitably lead to that person saying something negative to dampen the praise.
2) Furthermore, when a speaker is speaking in front of a large crowd, he must refrain from praising individuals, as even though he doesn’t know that anyone in the crowd may dislike the person being praised, still, such praise will usually lead to someone in the crowd finding something negative to say to dampen the praise.
When speaking in public, if the speaker is familiar with the audience, and is confident that nobody in the crowd will speak negatively of the one he is praising, it is permitted, but even then, the praise should not be overdone.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, June 4, 2021
Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) If the person being praised is a well-known and respected person with a reputation for being a righteous person, and indeed he is a person of pristine stature, it is permitted to praise him without limitations.
2) This may be done even in front of a large audience, and even in the presence of someone who dislikes him.
The reason for this is that even if someone will try to relate something negative about this well respected individual, the people hearing it will not believe it, and thus it will not be deemed harmful to the righteous person’s reputation.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) It is advisable to refrain from sitting amongst a group of people who are just engaging in idle chatter, even if they are initially relating “praises” about Rabbonim and Tzadikim, as it is all but impossible for a group of people just sitting and idly chatting to not end up speaking Lashon Hara. (In general, it is best to avoid people who are always talking about other people, rather than speaking about worthwhile and beneficial things, ideas, thoughts etc.)
2) Furthermore, if they end up speaking Lashon Hara about the very Rabbonim and Tzadikim they were initially praising, it is deemed very harsh Lashon Hara, as Hashem is very strict with people who disparage Talmidei Chachamim and affront their honor in any way R”L.
Halachos for Sunday June 6, 2021
1)The prohibition to speak Lashon Hara does not only apply to speaking negatively about an individual; it also applies to speaking negatively about a group.
Thus, it is prohibited to say something negative about people from a specific city or community, the crowd in a certain Shul, the lifestyle of a particular faction of Yidden, and the like.
2) Lashon Hara is prohibited regardless if the one being spoken about is a male or female, child or adult, a random person or a friend, a spouse or a distant relative, a Talmid Chacham or an unlearned person.
Halachos for Monday June 7, 2021
1) It is prohibited to speak Lashon Hara, even if what you are relating is 100% true and accurate.
If the item being related is totally not true, or only partly true, or even just sprinkled with untruths, bending of the truth, false embellishments and the like to make the gossip juicier, that would be Motzi Shem Ra, an even greater sin, in addition to the sin of Lashon Hara.
2) The prohibition to relate Lashon Hara that you know is 100% true, exists even if you witnessed it with your own eyes, and there is no question in your mind as to what you saw; it is still prohibited to relate.
Halachos for Tuesday June 8, 2021
1) Even if the one you are relating the Lashon Hara to already heard it from someone else, it is still prohibited to relate it to him and cause him to hear it again, despite there being no new information that you are relating.
2) Even if the one the Lashon Hara was spoken about (Reuven) was already embarrassed by what was related about him to someone (Shimon), it is still prohibited to relate the incident again to him(Shimon), even if won’t lead to additional embarrassment.
Halachos for Wednesday, June 9, 2021
1) Making a statement that can be interpreted two ways, one as a praiseworthy comment and one as a negative comment, if it is evident from the manner in which it is being recounted that the intention is to be disparaging, it is prohibited.
2) For example, if one states that “in that home they are always cooking”, it can be understood that there is constant frivolous partying going on in that home, which is a negative, and it may not be related, or it can be understood that the home is an open home, always busy with Hachnosas Orchim and other Mitzvos, which is a positive, and may be related.
Before making any statements, it is imperative to make sure nothing negative is meant by it, and nothing negative can be understood from what you say.
[Good Rule of Thumb: Think before speaking and determine if what is about to be uttered is beneficial or harmful. Think if you would want someone else to utter such a thing about you.]
Halachos for Thursday, June 10, 2021
1) Of course, relating something derogatory about a fellow Jew to another person is prohibited. This includes relating something negative about the way someone’s parents or relatives behaved, or about a person’s own past life, now that he is no longer behaving in his old ways.
This applies to all kinds of past sinful behavior, both between man and Hashem, and between man and his fellow man.
2) Moreover, even if it is not being related to another person, it is still prohibited to humiliate an otherwise-God-fearing-Jew who is observed doing something sinful (here, referring to a sin between man and Hashem), even if there is nobody else present to witness the humiliation other than the individual himself and the one humiliating him. (There are exceptions to this rule, as it pertains to sins between man and his fellow man, as well as it pertains to constructive criticism, and other criteria. We will discuss these exceptions as we progress in this topic B’Ezras Hashem.)
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, June 11, 2021
Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) Relating something that is not in and of itself derogatory, yet saying it will lead to causing embarrassment or harm to a fellow Jew, is prohibited and deemed Lashon Hara.
2) Even if one is not speaking directly about another person, if something he relates (even if it is not about another person) can lead to another person being damaged or degraded (and the speaker does it in this roundabout way, with the intention of it leading to the other person being hurt or degraded) this too is Lashon Hara and prohibited. (Chazal refer to this as Lashon Hara B’Tzina, discreet Lashon Hara)
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) Even if one relates a negative item about a fellow Jew which does not cause him any damage or embarrassment, e.g. the people listening did not accept what is being said and don’t believe it at all, it is still deemed Lashon Hara and is prohibited.
2) Furthermore, even if from the outset, the person relating the negative information knows that the people he is speaking to will not accept or believe what he is telling them, and thus there never was a chance that harm would befall the subject he is talking about, it is still deemed Lashon Hara and is prohibited, as the Torah prohibits speaking disparagingly about a fellow Jew, irrespective if it will actually cause someone harm or not
Halachos for Sunday June 13, 2021
1) If one relates a story about himself and another person, and it will thus result in negative information being shared about both of them (the speaker and his friend who was part of the story being related) it is still prohibited, despite his including himself in doing something derogatory.
This is the case even if he first relates the derogatory information about himself, and only then adds the information about his accomplice.
This is still prohibited, even if his entire intention is to relate the derogatory information about himself, and the information that comes to light about his friend is not his intention at all.
2) Although this is deemed Lashon Hara and it may not be spoken, the ones listening to this particular story may believe the negative story about the one relating it, so long as they do not believe the part about the other individual in the story.
Halachos for Monday June 14, 2021
1) Even if the one relating a story does not intend to embarrass the person he is talking about, it is still prohibited to relate the embarrassing incident.
2) Furthermore, even if the one relating the incident knows that the person he is telling it to respects the person who it is about, and this respect will not be diminished by hearing this particular story, it is still forbidden to relate it.
The reason for this is that since if it were to be related in the presence of the one it is about, it would cause him embarrassment or hurt him, thus it is forbidden to say it even not in his presence, as the story is intrinsically negative, and we are concerned that if told it will get publicized further and cause harm.
Halachos for Tuesday June 15, 2021
1) Even if the person about whom the Lashon Hara is being spoken does not care if it is told, it is still prohibited, as even if it not deemed 100% Lashon Hara, it is still not deemed 100% permitted speech either.
2) In general, even if someone says that he/she doesn’t care if you relate something about them, or even if it is being related “amongst friends or family” where the intentions are not to harm the one that it is about, still we can never know a person’s true feelings, and thus even if they say that they don’t care, or even if they seem to not care (e.g. they are smiling, participating in telling the story about themselves etc.) it is very likely that in reality they do care, and thus it will be Lashon Hara.
Halachos for Wednesday, June 16, 2021
1) It is prohibited to denigrate and talk disparagingly about a person even after he/she passes away.
2) There is a “Cherem Kadmonin” , an ancient rabbinic condemnation leveled against one who speaks negatively about the deceased, and it is recommended to be careful with this at all costs. (See commentary of the Mordechai beginning of 8th Perek of Bava Kama. See also Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim Siman 606:3)
This applies regarding any deceased people, even if they were not Torah scholars, and all the more so about a Torah scholar. Furthermore, it also applies to disparaging the Divrei Torah of a Talmid Chacham who has passed from this world.
Halachos for Thursday, June 17, 2021
1) Relating Lashon Hara about ones sibling, in the presence of their father, mother or another mutual relative, is also deemed Lashon Hara and is prohibited.
2) Even if the purpose of relating this incident is so that the parent or relative should rebuke or chastise the sibling, it is still prohibited, as he himself (the one relating the story) should have rebuked the sibling first, and not immediately passed the buck to their parent.
However, if the one relating the incident truly feels that his own rebuke would not be effective, and that the parent or other relative’s rebuke will indeed be effective, in that case, it is indeed permitted to relate to them whatever is necessary for them to know to properly give rebuke.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, June 18, 2021
Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) The prohibition to speak Lashon Hara applies even if the intention of the one relating it is not out of hatred, and not with intent to harm or embarrass the one that it is about, and even if he would relate this incident in the presence of the one it is about.
2) Even lashon Hara related in jest, and in a humorous or light-headed (S’chok V’Kalus Rosh) fashion , is forbidden.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) Lashon Hara is strictly forbidden, even if related matter-of-factly, and even if one only speaks it occasionally; still there is Heavenly retribution for any utterance of Lashon Hara.
2) One who habitually speaks Lashon Hara is deemed a “Ba’al Lashon Hara” and his/her heavenly punishment is even more harsh than one who only occasionally speaks Lashon Hara. This is not only due to the fact that he has a larger quantity of Lashon Hara sins, but also due to the fact that his mouth becomes “hefker” (i.e. he is deemed negligent in his Torah observance, and this lack of Yiras Shomayim, puts him in a precarious spiritual category) and thus every forbidden utterance of his is an enlarged sin, and thus deserving of enlarged Heavenly retribution, R"L.
Halachos for Sunday June 20, 2021
1) Even if one relates a negative incident about someone without specifically mentioning his/her name, it is still forbidden, so long as the people listening to what is being related can figure out about whom he is speaking.
2) Just as it is prohibited to “speak” Lashon Hara about a fellow Jew, so too it is equally forbidden to “write” Lashon Hara about them.
Unfortunately, with the advent of technology, it has become so much easier and more prevalent to relate, read, accept and spread Lashon Hara about people, via email, text message, WhatsApp groups and the like, and this has had terrible and frightening consequences for individuals, families, businesses, communities and for Klal Yisroel at large.
Each and every Yid must be vigilant to avoid having any part in this spread of Lashon Hara at all costs.
It may take just a second or two to click and share a seemingly harmless story, text, meme or message, but that can set off a chain reaction and literally within minutes it can reach thousands of people and seriously harm or destroy a person’s life, reputation, business, Shalom Bayis etc.
This is not something to be flippant about; it is crucial to think twice (or 100 times) before reading and believing something received via digital transmission, and surely, we must think deep, hard and honestly, before sharing something that we receive, to make sure it is 100% OK to share. Once it is shared, it is all but impossible to "un-share", and it takes on a life of its own and gets around the world.
This is a serious concern, and should not be treated lightly or dismissed as “Oh, it’s only a harmless meme…” or by thinking “ Everyone is doing it” or assuming that since it’s already out there, there is no harm in broadcasting it further; nothing can be further from the truth.
May Hashem give us all the strength to overcome this strong 21st century Yetzer Hara, and help us all use technology responsibly and without sin R”L.
Halachos for Monday June 21, 2021
1) Just as Lashon Hara may not be “spoken” or “written”, so too it may not be gestured, via hand motions, or winks, eye-rolls, chuckles and the like.
Any action that results in Lashon Hara being understood by others, is prohibited.
2) Even showing someone a letter from another person, where something negative about the writer will be evident by reading it, is prohibited.
Halachos for Tuesday June 22, 2021
1) If an individual is relating something that is Lashon Hara and another person standing nearby hears it and verbally agrees with the one who is relating it, that agreement is tantamount to actually relating the prohibited speech, and both people are liable for this forbidden speech.
2) Even if a person’s father, Rebbi, or another person of authority, implores him to relate Lashon Hara, he may not listen to them.
Even if they only ask of him to relate a story which can then be understood as lashon Hara, and even if they plead with him to say something that is only Avak Lashon Hara, he must not listen to them, as it is forbidden.
This is the case even if by not acquiescing to their pleas, they will be upset, or even angry at him for his refusal to listen to them.
Halachos for Wednesday, June 23, 2021
1) Even if one's livelihood will be in jeopardy by refusing to speak Lashon Hara (e.g. one who is employed by a person who is not a Shomer Torah U’Mitzvos, and will deem him a fool if he doesn’t ‘join the crowd’ in forbidden speech, ridiculing of co-workers and the like, and will thus fire him) he is still absolutely forbidden to bend any of the rules of Lashon Hara by speaking, participating or even listening to forbidden speech.
2) Of course, if the only thing at stake by not participating in any Lashon Hara activities in the workplace is a person’s reputation, honor, social standing and the like, but it won’t affect his livelihood, surely it is forbidden.
Halachos for Thursday, June 24, 2021
1) Just as it is prohibited for a person, on his own, to relate a derogatory story about another fellow Jew, so too it is prohibited for two people to relate a derogatory story together.
In fact, by virtue of the fact that two people are both “agreeing” to the derogatory information being related, it actually makes the Lashon Hara worse, as it will strengthen the validity of what is being told, and cause those listening to believe it with more force, and lead them to have a stronger negative opinion about the subject of the story.
2) Likewise, just as it is forbidden to relate Lashon Hara even to one listener, it is also forbidden to relate to a group, and the more people listening, the greater the sin being transgressed by the one speaking.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, June 25, 2021
Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) The prohibition to relate Lashon Hara is in full effect even if the one it is being related to is a very close relative, including one’s spouse.
2) Many people mistakenly believe that it is OK to share negative details about what transpired in Shul, at work or other things that happened to them during the day, with their spouse.
Nothing can be further from the truth. Not only is this 100% Lashon Hara and forbidden, it is also unwise as sharing such negative details with a spouse often leads to machlokes, the spouse harboring feelings of animosity toward them, and other sins. (Of course, there are certain exceptions to this rule, where relating something to a spouse can be deemed L’Toeles, for a permitted and necessary purpose. We shall B’Ezras Hashem discuss the criteria of L’Toeles as we progress in this topic.)
The aforementioned Halachos also apply to business partners; there is no blanket allowance for them to share negative information with one another, unless deemed necessary according to Halacha.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) The prohibition to relate Lashon Hara is not only when being related to a fellow Jew, as it is surely prohibited to relate Lashon Hara about a fellow Jew to an Aino Yehudi.
2) This is the case, even more so, when what is being related to the Aino Yehudi is deemed “Mesirah”, informing the actions of a fellow Jew to an Aino Yehudi authority, who will then cause harm or other problems for the Jew.
One who is Moser on a fellow Jew has transgressed a grave sin of Chilul Hashem, and is also deemed an Apikores, a heretic, and is treated as one who denies the entire Torah and does not believe in Techiyas Hameisim, and his punishment in Gehinom is eternal R”L. (See Talmud Rosh Hashana 17a)
HILCHOS LASHON HARA PART 3
Halachos for Sunday, December 12, 2021
Introduction:
We will now, B’Ezras Hashem, resume studying some more relevant and vital Halachos of ‘Lashon Hara’.
We already covered many aspects of these Halachos (Part 1 and part 2) , and they can be viewed in the archives here.
We will now begin Part 3, which will cover some other angles of this large topic.
As we mentioned at the outset of studying this topic, we are, of course, using the ‘Sefer Chofetz Chaim’, written by Harav Yisroel Meir Hakohen Kagan of Radin, the holy Chofetz Chaim Zatzal , who is universally known by the title of this Sefer.
All Halachos that are presented without any additional source information, are taken directly from the words of the holy Chofetz Chaim (who is also the author of Mishna Berura) , who is often accepted as “the last word” on matters pertaining to Halacha in general , and surely, as they pertain to the Halachos of Lashon Hara.
May we eradicate Lashon Hara from our lives, and thereby merit the Geulah Shelaima, with the arrival of Mashiach Tzidkeinu B’meheira B’Yameinu!
1) Generally, whenever it is prohibited for someone to relate Lashon Hara, it is likewise prohibited for anyone to listen and accept the Lashon Hara being spoken.
There are even instances where it may be permitted for someone to relate something, yet it is still prohibited for the listener to hear/accept what is being spoken, as we will learn as we progress in this topic.
2) When we say that one may not accept Lashon Hara (Referred to in Halacha as Kabolas Lashon Hara) the definition of that prohibition is to believe in your heart that what you just heard is true., as believing what you heard will lead you to think of the one who the Lashon Hara is being spoken about with contempt and vilification, which is a sin.
Halachos for Monday, December 13, 2021
1) If by listening and accepting Lashon Hara about someone, there is a way to interpret what you hear in a positive way (e.g. the thing that person did had justification, or it is evident that he didn’t know that what he did was forbidden, and the like), and thus accepting what you heard will not lead to thinking of the one who the Lashon Hara is being spoken about with contempt and vilification, in that case there is no Mitzvah to deem what you hear as not true.
2) However, even when you are allowed to believe a specific item you hear, as you have a way to spin it in a positive way, still it is prohibited to think of the one being spoken about in a negative way, in general.
Halachos for Tuesday, December 14, 2021
1) If one heard something negative about another, and this leads to the one hearing it having a negative opinion about the one it was spoken about, even if what was spoken was the truth, he has transgressed the prohibition of accepting lashon Hara.
2) Furthermore, if one heard something negative about another, even if he knows it’s true, if there are ways to judge him favorably, and yet the listener does not do so and instead agrees with the one speaking the Lashon Hara, in addition to transgressing the prohibition to listen/accept Lashon Hara, he has also transgressed the Torah’s commandment of B’Tzedek Tishpot Amisecha (Vayikra 19:15)
This is even more so if the one the Lashon Hara is about is a G-d fearing Torah scholar or a Bais Din, as the requirement to judge them favorably is even stronger than with an individual Jew.
Tomorrow, we will give an example to illustrate this halacha more clearly.
Halachos for Wednesday, December 15, 2021
1) Here is an example, to illustrate the Halacha we learnt yesterday:
Bais Din ruled against Reuven in a monetary dispute.
Upon leaving the Bais Din, Reuven meets his friend Shimon. Being that he is frustrated at having lost the case, he relates to Shimon how Bais Din ruled against him, and he lays out “the facts” as he understands them, and tells Shimon to “See for yourself that I am correct and they ruled wrongly against me. If my case would have been brought to Rabbi So-and-So’s Bais Din – who is known for his wisdom and integrity – surely they would have understood the truth and ruled in my favor!”.
Upon hearing this, Shimon is obligated to remove any negative feelings he may now have against this Bais Din or this Rav, from his heart.
2) Furthermore, if Shimon is able to get Reuven to also dispel any negative feelings about the Bais Din that ruled against him from his heart, he is obligated to do so as well.
He should say something to the effect of:
“Bais Din rules according to their understanding of the arguments that come in front of them, and then determine what they believe the Torah wants. Furthermore, even if the facts may be as you say, still, for whatever reason, Hashem wanted the outcome to come out against you, and thus they ruled as they did. You have nothing to worry about; even if you now have a monetary loss, Hashem can send you a monetary gain in other ways. You just accept the ruling as a Torah mandated ruling and move on without any ill feelings toward any of the parties involved.”
Halachos for Thursday, December 16, 2021
1) As we mentioned yesterday, the one who heard the Lashon Hara (Shimon) must try and remove the negative feelings from the heart of the one who related it to him (Reuven).
2) In any case, even if he (Shimon) can’t get him (Reuven) to remove the negative feelings from his heart, he himself (Shimon) must work diligently to remove any negative feelings that he may have against the Bais Din, due to what he heard, from his own heart.
He must tell himself that very often the outcome of a case can hinge on a single argument, a minute detail, or a specific line of defense, and it is entirely possible that the argument that Reuven made to him after the case was decided against him, was different than the argument he presented in his defense during the case, and thus that may be why the ruling was the way it was.
Furthermore, even if Shimon cannot think of a single reason (zechus) as to why Bais Din seemingly ruled wrongly, he is still forbidden to decide in his heart that this Bais Din or this Rav is not competent to rule Torah law.
He may, however, if he wants, approach the Bais Din and respectfully discuss the reasoning for their having ruled the way they did.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, December 17, 2021 Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) The prohibition to hear/accept Lashon Hara is in place even if by doing so it does not establish the one speaking the Lashon Hara as a Rasha, an evil person .
2) For instance, if Reuven tells Shimon that Levi is planning to harm him (Shimon), and thus he (Reuven) is permitted to relate this information, so that Shimon can protect himself, still Shimon may not fully believe the information (Kabalah B’Hechlet) in his heart, rather he may only take the information under advisement (Lachush), for the purposes of protecting himself.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) How much more so is it prohibited to listen/accept Lashon Hara when the one relating it indeed is deemed a rasha, an evil person, by relating the information.
2) The one speaking Lashon Hara is blatantly transgressing the Torah’s laws against speaking Lashon Hara and Rechilus.
The one being spoken about has a “Chezkas Kashrus”, a status of a good, upstanding Torah- observant Jew.
Thus, how can we listen/accept/believe a Rasha’s words to use them to uproot a fellow Jew’s Chezkas kashrus?!
Halachos for Sunday, December 19, 2021
1) The prohibition to listen/accept Lashon Hara applies to any negative information being related about any member of Klal Yisroel.
Even if the person it is being related about has the status of a Rasha (such as someone who is a Mumar L’teavon, one about whom it is commonly known and established that he does not keep kosher, though he does so for his enjoyment, and not rebelliously) so long as he retains his status as a Yisroel, you may not listen/accept Lashon Hara about him.
2) Thus, if you hear about this person that he has totally thrown away his status as a Yisroel (i.e. he has stooped to the level of transgressing the Torah L’hachis, in a rebellious fashion, and not due to his being unable to overcome his Yetzer Hara for enjoyment) you may not listen/accept this information as fact unless and until it has been established as such in a Bais Din.
So long as this person retains his status as a Yisroel, he would be subject to all the Halachos that apply to other Bnei Yisroel; you have to return his lost objects, you have to redeem him if he is captured; you must give him Tzedakah etc.
Halachos for Monday, December 20, 2021
1) It is prohibited to listen/accept Lashon Hara even in situations where it is clear to the one listening that what is being related is absolutely true.
2) Thus, even if one hears Lashon Hara from his father, mother, spouse or other relatives, he is prohibited from listening/accepting what he hears.
Even if what is being related is said in the presence of many people, it still may not be listened to/accepted as truth.
Halachos for Tuesday, December 21, 2021
1) It is prohibited to listen/accept Lashon Hara, even if the information has been printed in a public letter or other publication. (See also Michtevei Chofetz Chaim 42)
2) Even if someone relates negative information about himself, while also relating the information about another individual, it is forbidden to listen/accept/believe the information as it relates to the other person.
Regarding the one relating the information, there is no prohibition to accept and believe the information as it relates to him himself.
Halachos for Wednesday, December 22, 2021
1) It is forbidden to listen/accept Lashon Hara even if one hears the same information from 2 or more people, as the Halacha of “Eidim, witnesses” only applies to information related as testimony in front of a Bais Din, and has no halachic bearing outside of a Bais Din.
2) Even if the one relating the negative information is someone who is trustworthy, and has the status of “2 witnesses” , it is still forbidden to listen/accept the Lashon Hara from them
Halachos for Thursday, December 23, 2021
1) If one relates something negative about an individual, in the presence of that individual, it is forbidden to listen/believe the information, even if the one it is being related about remains silent, and thus it seems to indicate that he is admitting to the negative information.
2) Even if this particular individual is the type that usually would not remain silent, rather his personality is to stand up for himself and deny the information being related about him, still it is prohibited to listen/accept the information, if in this instance he is quiet, and thus seemingly admitting guilt.
Only if he himself verbally admits to the information being related would it be permissible to accept it as the truth.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, December 24, 2021 Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) It is biblically prohibited to listen to Lashon Hara, even if when listening he does not intend to accept/believe what he hears.
2) However, if by listening to a particular piece of information it will be beneficial to him to prevent future harm or financial loss from befalling him (and thus hearing it is deemed L’To’eles) he may hear it and take the information under advisement (Lachush) , however he may not accept and believe it in his heart as 100% truth.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) Another criteria in the aforementioned Halacha, is that the one hearing the information may only take the information under advisement to prevent himself future harm, only if it is evident that the one relating the information is also relating it with a beneficial intention (L’To’eles), so that the listener should take it under advisement.
However, if the one relating it has other motives, and is seemingly relating Lashon Hara to disparage the one it is about, it is forbidden to listen to what he is saying under all circumstances.
2) If one wants to relate negative information to his friend, the friend should ask him outright if the information is for beneficial reasons or simply to disparage the one who the information is about.
This way, it can help determine if the information may be listened to in the first place or not.
This can also help give the one relating the information a chance to rethink what he is about to relate, and help him avoid the harsh sin of forbidden speech.
Halachos for Sunday, December 26, 2021
1) If somebody is “unloading” or "getting something off his chest" and complaining to his friend, relating to him a story where he feels he was wronged by another individual, regardless who the one speaking is (even if he is respected Torah scholar who would not lie), the one listening should not hesitate to ask him to repeat the facts, for purposes of clarity and context, as many time this will lead to more accuracy and less negativity overall.
2) At times, there may even be a Mitzvah to listen to information that at first glance may seem negative, as sometimes by hearing what is being said and how it is being said, it can allow the listener to “set the facts straight” to the one speaking, or to others listening, and thus change the situation from negative to positive, or otherwise interject a positive spin (zechus) into the information, and thus prevent disparagement to another Jew.
Also, sometimes, listening can quell the speaker’s anger, and thus prevent him from continuing to spread the Lashon Hara to additional people.
However, even in these cases where it may be permitted, or even a Mitzvah, to hear/listen to the information, it may still not be accepted/believed as 100% truth.
Halachos for Monday, December 27, 2021
1) Even in situations where Lashon Hara may be listened to for the purposes of taking the information under advisement (Lachush), it is still forbidden to do any action that will cause harm or embarrassment to the one who the negative information is about.
2) Furthermore, it is even forbidden to harbor any hatred in your heart against the person who the negative information is about, as the information may not be believed and accepted as truth; only taken under advisement for the purposes of protecting yourself from possible harm.
Halachos for Tuesday, December 28, 2021
1) If one hears Lashon Hara about another person, and the one hearing the Lashon Hara has additional corroborative information that verifies the information as true, he may believe and accept the information for himself only.
2) This corroborative information must be solid evidence, not just somewhat supportive.
Additionally, he must have seen/heard the corroborative evidence himself, and not have heard them from someone else.
Halachos for Wednesday, December 29, 2021
1) The permissibility to believe/accept information based on additional corroborative evidence is only in place in regard to the future, i.e. to use the information to protect yourself from being harmed by this person.
2) However, if there is no future benefit to knowing this negative information, and it is simply Lashon Hara with no beneficial purpose (no To’eles), it is forbidden to hear/listen to it.
The reason for this is that even though you already know this information via the corroborative evidence, by listening to it again from the one relating it, you are causing him to transgress the prohibition of speaking Lashon Hara.
Thus, “I already know the negative information” is not a license to hear it again.
Halachos for Thursday, December 30, 2021
1) Even in situations where the one hearing the Lashon Hara may accept and believe what he is hearing, it is generally still prohibited for him to relate it to other people.
2)The exception to this would be if the person who the Lashon Hara is about is an established Rash (Muchzak L’Rasha) or if the information being shared is such that it will protect the one you are sharing it with from financial or other harm.
Before relying on these exceptions and determining if a person is a Rasha or if the information is of the variety that may/must be shared, a Rav should be consulted with the details.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, December 31, 2021 Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) If one hears negative information about someone, or information that repudiates a person’s sterling character, or something less than flattering about a person’s background or family, if there is no beneficial reason to believe or share this information (no To’eles), it is forbidden for him to believe/accept this information, despite any corroborative information he may know.
2) The above applies as well to any information which, even if it were true, would require him finding a positive spin on it (dan l’kaf zechus), he may not accept/believe it despite any corroborative information he may possess.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) If somebody relates Lashon Hara in the presence of the subject about whom the negative information is about, and that person begins apologizing for his actions, and it is evident from his apology that the information that was related was true, this is considered corroborative evidence that the information is true.
2) However, here too, it may only be accepted/believed for himself, and generally not shared with anyone else, and only for the purpose of protecting himself (or others, when allowed) from future harm, and not simply to know and believe negative information about another Jew for no constructive purpose (no To’eles).
Halachos for Sunday, January 2, 2022
1) If a sin was committed by a member of a group, and it is not known which person in the group was the perpetrator of the sin, if there is evidence that is somewhat corroborative that points to one member of the group, and there is no evidence at all as it relates to the rest of the group, it is permissible to rely on that evidence to accept/believe that he is the one who transgressed the sin.
2) In this case, as well as in all the cases we discussed where corroborative evidence or other criteria may be relied upon to accept/believe negative information, it is extremely crucial to be cautious before jumping to accept/believe anything negative, as the Yetzer Hara works very hard to make us deem Lashon Hara we hear as the kind that is permissible to hear/accept/believe..
It is very important to not rush to be lenient with accepting information that is of the “permissible” variety. Whenever in doubt, it is best to consult a Rav for a psak halacha, and hold back from listening/accepting/believing anything until you are 100% sure that it meets the criteria where the Torah allows it.
Halachos for Monday, January 3, 2022
1) One who is sitting among a group of people who are speaking Lashon Hara is obligated to rebuke them.
Even if he feels that his rebuke won’t be heeded, he still must rebuke them, provided that his rebuke won’t make matters worse.
2) If, however, he feels that by rebuking them he will make matters worse (i.e. they will increase their Lashon Hara) then indeed he may not rebuke them.
Tomorrow we will discuss some other options he has.
Halachos for Tuesday, January 4, 2022
1) If one is sitting in a group of people who are engaged in forbidden speech, and he is unable to rebuke them, he should try to deftly engage them in a different topic of conversation, to thus move the conversation away from forbidden speech.
2) If he cannot rebuke them, nor manage to change the subject and thus change the flow of the conversation, he is then obligated to get up and leave the group, or at least place his fingers in his ears so that he does not hear any of the forbidden conversation.
Halachos for Wednesday, January 5, 2022
1) if one is sitting among a group of people who are engaged in Lashon Hara and he is unable to rebuke them or change the conversation, and he also finds it too difficult or embarrassing to place his fingers in his ears or get up and leave (which is not necessarily an acceptable reason to not do it; but we are discussing a practical next step for one who finds it too hard to cover his ears or leave the table…) he must keep the following 3 items in mind to make sure he doesn’t transgress the prohibitions of Lashon Hara due to him hearing the conversation taking place in the group:
a) He must make up in his mind with an absolute resolution that he won’t believe the negative information he is hearing.
b) He should not be OK with what he is hearing.
c) He must not make any gestures with his head, hands, facial expressions etc. that show he agrees with what is being said; rather he must sit there stone-faced to show that he is not participating at all in what is being said.
2) If he can show an annoyed expression, or another gesture to show that he doesn’t agree with what is being said, that would be even better.
Halachos for Thursday, January 6, 2022
1) If one knows that a certain group gathered together for the express purpose of ridiculing or knocking people (Letzanus and Lashon Hara), even if they will first have a meal or first have another segment to the meeting that is not against halacha, but it will be followed by a forbidden segment, it is forbidden to initially participate in such a gathering, where he knows that it will be difficult for him to extract himself when things turn negative, and he knows that his rebuke will fall on deaf ears.
2) Surely, if the group began their negative speech before he joined them, he is forbidden to join them at this point. Furthermore, if one is able to leave the group that is engaged in negative speech, and he is too lazy to do the right thing and get up to leave and thus he stays, or if one knows that a certain group has a reputation that their conversations always turn into Lashon Hara-fests , and yet he goes to join them, even if he doesn’t actively participate in their conversation, and even if he is not OK with what they are saying, he is still deemed a sinner like they are, simply by virtue of being there.
Certainly, if he deliberately joins or stays there to hear what they are saying, he is deemed a sinner.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, January 7, 2022
Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) It is forbidden to dwell in a neighborhood that is populated by habitual gossipers (Ba’alei Lashon Hara)
2) If one does live in such a neighborhood, it is certainly forbidden for him to congregate with them and participate in their evil speech, even if it isn’t his intention to hear/accept their negative speech.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) One should not establish his seat in a Shul or a Bais Medrash near those who are gossipers.
Not only will this lead to the harsh sin of Lashon Hara, it will also lead to many other sins, such as Bitul Torah, Bitul Tefilah, missing Amens, talking during davening and the like. (Furthermore, according to Kabalistic writings, sitting in such a place can lead to all sorts of harm R"L. See Kav Hayashar Perek 11 Dibur Hamaschil V'Od Davar Echad)
2) Also, keep in mind that besides all the other negative results of Lashon Hara, one who is involved in forbidden speech risks having his Tefilos rejected by Hashem R”L.
Halachos for Sunday, January 9, 2022
1) If one transgressed and heard Lashon Hara about another Yid, even if he didn’t accept/believe it, he must immediately seek a zechus (benefit of the doubt) and utter it in the presence of the one who related the Lashon Hara.
2) Furthermore, he must actively work to remove from his heart and mind any negative feelings he may now harbor about the one who the Lashon Hara was about.
Halachos for Monday, January 10, 2022
1) Yesterday we mentioned that one who hears Lashon Hara should try to immediately interject with a zechus, a benefit of the doubt, about the one it is being related about.
However, if he is familiar with the negative personality of the one who is relating the Lashon Hara, and he knows that if he interjects with a zechus about the subject of the Lashon Hara, it will just cause him to increase his negative speech about him, it is better to remain quiet.
2) Once the one relating the negative speech leaves, the one who heard it should go over to anyone else that was present and heard the negative information, and explain to them the entire situation in a manner of zechus (with a positive spin), so that they should expel any negative feelings from their heart about the person who the Lashon Hara was about.
Halachos for Tuesday, January 11, 2022
1) If one transgressed and heard/accepted Lashon Hara, he must now do teshuva and work to remove the negative feelings he has in his heart about the one that he heard Lashon Hara about.
2) There is no difference if the negative information was about a matter that was Bein Adam L’Makom (e.g. the subject of the Lashon Hara missed zman Krias shema) or about a matter that was Bein Adam L’Chaveiro (e.g. the subject of the Lashon Hara stole something from his neighbor)
In all instances, part of the Teshuva process is to expel the negative feelings about the subject, which were brought about by listening/accepting the Lashon Hara, from your heart and mind.
Halachos for Wednesday, January 12, 2022
1) When one needs to do teshuva for hearing/accepting Lashon Hara, in addition to banishing the negative feelings from his heart brought about by the Lashon Hara he already heard, he must also regret what he heard, and accept upon himself to work hard to seriously not hear/accept any further Lashon Hara going forward.
2) Furthermore, as with the requirements of teshuva for all aveiros, it will require Vidui (a verbal utterance accepting responsibility for the sin) to be a complete act of genuine Teshuva.
Halachos for Thursday, January 13, 2022
1) In addition to doing Teshuva for the various personal transgressions involved in hearing/accepting Lashon Hara, he must also do teshuva for transgressing the biblical sin (Vayikra 19:14) of “Lifnei Iver Lo Siten Michshol”, the prohibition against placing a stumbling block in front of a blind person, which he caused the one speaking the Lashon Hara to transgress by his listening/accepting the negative information.
2) Part of the Teshuva for that sin is to put in effort to get the one who spoke the Lashon Hara to expel any negative feelings from his heart about the one he spoke about.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, January 14, 2022Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
As this Shabbos is Shabbos Shira, we interrupted our current topic to review a few timely Halachos that are relevant to this Shabbos.
Halachos for Sunday, January 16, 2022
1) If one heard/accepted Lashon Hara about someone, and then repeated what he heard/accepted to other people, he cannot do a complete Teshuva for his sin until he requests and receives forgiveness from the subject about who the Lashon Hara was related, as is the requirement of all who speak Lashon Hara.
2) The only alternative to having to seek and get forgiveness from the subject, is if he approaches all the others to whom he related what he heard/accepted and gets them to expel any negative feelings they have in their heart for the person who was spoken about. (This is very hard to accomplish, as thee is no real way to know if they indeed expelled it from their hearts)
This will only work if no harm befell the one who was spoken about due to what was said about him, as once all who heard it expelled the negative information from their hearts, the situation is closed.
However, if any harm befell him (physical, financial or any other type of harm) there is no other option to cleanse yourself of the sin, other than seeking and receiving his sincere forgiveness.
Halachos for Monday, January 17, 2022
Monday was Tu B’Shvat. We reviewed some timely Halachos/Minhagim of Tu B'Shvat
Halachos for Tuesday, January 18, 2022
1) If you heard/accepted and spread Lashon Hara about somebody and they don't know about it, and by revealing it to them, in order to ask forgiveness, you will cause them additional pain and anguish , it is a dispute among the Poskim as to the best course of action.
Rav Yisroel Salanter Zatzal maintained that if going over to the person who you spoke against to ask for mechilah will cause them further harm, it is best not to let them know, and try to do as much Teshuva as possible, and try to spread good about that person in other ways. (Rav Shlomo Zalmen Auerbach Zatzal ruled according to this opinion)
The Chofetz Chaim Zatzal (Hilchos Lashon Hara Klal 4:12) ruled that Teshuva is only complete with mechila, and even if it caused further harm, you must approach them.
For Halacha L'Ma'aseh, of course, a Rav must be consulted.
2) It goes without saying that when asking for forgiveness it must be sincere and you must genuinely regret what you did and resolve not to do it again.
Simply mouthing the words "Are you Mochel me?" isn't sufficient.
Likewise, the one who says "I am Mochel you" but doesn't really mean it, and continues to bear a grudge in his heart, is doing a disservice for all parties involved.
Halachos for Wednesday, January 19, 2022
1) A Yid who generally follows the Torah and tries to avoid transgressing sins, who occasionally stumbles and transgresses a sin, is considered a “Beinoni”, an average person.
2) If a person (or even two people) witnesses a “Beinoni” do something which goes against Halacha, even if he is seen doing this transgression multiple times, the halacha is as follows:
If it is possible to assume that
a) he did not know that this particular action is prohibited by the Torah, or
b) that he thought it was merely a “Chumrah”, a stringency, but not an actual transgression of Halacha, or
c) that he transgressed unwittingly,
it is prohibited to relate to others what he saw, and it is prohibited to harbor any ill feelings or animosity toward him/her.
Rather you are obligated to judge him/her favorably, L’Kaf Zechus.
Halachos for Thursday, January 20, 2022
1) If one witnesses a “Beinoni”, an average Yid, transgress an aveirah which is well-known to be a sin and prohibited, and thus it is not possible to assume that the person didn’t know it was prohibited, it is still forbidden to relate to others what you witnessed him do.
2) Here, if at all realistic, it should be assumed that he transgressed unwittingly.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, January 21, 2022 Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) Even if one witnessed a “Beinoni” transgressing a sin, where circumstances are such that it is all but impossible to find a favorable way to spin what he did, it is still proper to deem it in his heart as questionable (safek) if the person overtly transgressed a sin, rather than conclude that he absolutely is guilty.
2) Thus, the one who witnessed it should not jump to publicize what he saw and he should certainly not run to shame the one who sinned. (Though there are certain circumstances where that may be allowed, one must first consult with a Rav and ascertain that all the criteria are met and that it is 100% allowed to share what you saw with others.)
Moreover, if the individual who was witnessed transgressing the sin is otherwise known to be a Torah scholar and a G-d fearing Jew, it is obligatory to judge him favorably, and forbidden to reveal to others what was witnessed, even if it is hard to find a way to judge this particular action favorably.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) If there is no way to judge an action favorably, such as he transgressed a sin that every observant Jew knows is prohibited (e.g. eating pork, having forbidden relations and the like), and the observer perceives that he transgressed deliberately, or he was warned beforehand that doing this action would be a sin, and he went ahead and did it anyhow, the halacha is as follows:
Since he is a “Beinoni”, an observant Jew who is generally careful to not transgress the laws of the Shulchan Aruch, and now he transgressed one sin, and did so privately (i.e. not publicly; but the observer happened to be there) it is forbidden for the one who witnessed the sin to relate it to others, and surely it is forbidden to shame him publicly for his actions.
2) However, the one who witnessed the sinful action is obligated to rebuke the sinner privately, as the Torah (Vayikra 19:17) mandates, Ho’chayach To’chiach Es Amisecha.
(If the information is relevant to relate to another person in order to help him avoid transgressing a sin, such as informing a husband about an immoral action of his wife which would make her prohibited to him, or similar such situations, a Rav must be consulted to determine that the information meets the criteria that would indeed make it permissible to relate to the one who must know this information. See Chofetz Chaim Klal 4 Halacha 4 in the footnote)
Halachos for Sunday, January 23, 2022
1) Sadly, too many people, even in Torah observant circles, are “Leitzim”.
A “Leitz” is an empty person, a scoffer who habitually treats people and situations with derision and mockery, and doesn’t take anything seriously, and thus generally doesn’t accept rebuke for his actions with any level of seriousness, and most likely will have contempt for anyone trying to reprimand him.
There are many Pesukim in Tanach and many statements of Chazal that pair up scoffers with fools, and describe the unfortunate punishments that await people classified as “Leitzim” (See the very first Pasuk in Tehilim, Mishlei 19:29, Talmud Avoda Zara 18b, Kiddushin 41a, Rabbeinu Yonah in Shaarei teshuva Perek 3 starting Os 174 and in his commentary to Avos Perek 3 Mishna 2 and his commentary to Mishlei Perek 21, for a few of the many examples discussing this terrible trait)
Furthermore, people who are “Leitzim” are much more likely to sin and to repeat their sins time and time again. (See Maseches derech Eretz Perek 5:5)
2) When one witnesses a “Leitz” sinning and transgressing laws of the Torah, the rules are different than when witnessing a typical “Beinoni” transgress a sin, as we have learnt over the past few days. We will see some of these differences tomorrow B’Ezras Hashem.
Halachos for Monday, January 24, 2022
1) If two people witnessed a “Leitz” transgress a sin, and their intentions are for the sake of Hashem (L’sheim Shomayim) and not due to any animosity they bear toward this “Leitz”, they may relate what they witnessed to a Bais Din (Court of Torah judges) in their city, so they can warn him privately to not transgress this sin again. (Sometimes, it may even be warranted for them to warn him publicly, if the situation calls for this.)
2) Furthermore, the two individuals who witnessed the sin of the “Leitz” may bring it to the attention of his relatives, if they feel that the relatives will believe them and reprimand him for his actions.
However, it must first be ascertained that the relatives will indeed believe them and take the appropriate action, as very often relatives will not believe such information and it just leads to Machlokes; in that case it is best to not relate it to them and rather just keep quiet. (Shev V’al Ta’aseh Adif)
Halachos for Tuesday, January 25, 2022
1) If a lone individual witnessed a “Leitz” transgress a sin, he may not relate what he saw to others, even to a Bais Din, even if he has good intentions in relating the information, so that they should reprimand him and help him improve for the future.
2) He may, however, disclose the information to the sinner’s Rebbi or his confidant (who surely would not repeat what is told to them to others) if he knows that they will believe what is told to them, and they may distance themselves from the sinner, and even bear animosity toward him, until they are sure that he has improved his sinful ways.
Of course, the Rebbi and the confidant may not relate what they know to others. (in most cases, as there may be certain exceptions, if it is L’Toeles)
Halachos for Wednesday, January 26, 2022
1) Sadly, there are individuals who, despite knowing better, lack even basic fear of Hashem, and they habitually follow a sinful path devoid of all acceptances of the yoke of Heaven (Prikas Ol Malchus Shomayim).
Similarly, there are, sadly, individuals who time and time again purposely transgress a sin which is well known to be a sin, which indicates that their transgressing this sin is not a one-time slip due to their not being able to overpower the Yetzer Hara, rather it’s an indication that they have thrown off all fear of Hashem and go through life following the dictates of their own hearts. Such people are classified as “Reshaim”, wicked people.
2) If one is absolutely sure that somebody fits the aforementioned description, it is halachically permitted to speak negatively of such a person and shame him and speak about his transgression of this, or other, sins.
It is permitted to speak of him whether in his presence or even when he is not present, so long as he hasn’t done Teshuva and changed his sinful ways.
The above is true especially if he was reprimanded for his sins, and he ignored the rebuke and continued in his sinful ways.
(Before relying on this in practice, a Rav should be consulted to ensure that it meets all the criteria of this halacha, more of which we will discuss in the coming days B’Ezras Hashem)
Halachos for Thursday, January 27, 2022
1) If the sin that one witnesses someone habitually transgress is not one that is a well-known sin, it is prohibited to deem him a “Rasha” and speak negatively of him, due to what was witnessed.
2) If a knowledgeable person rebukes him (i.e. a person who the sinner knows is giving him accurate halachic information in his rebuke) and he continues to transgress the sin anyway, he is indeed deemed a “Rasha” and all the halachos that apply to speaking about “reshaim” will apply to him as well.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, January 28, 2022 Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) If there are no people around who can give proper rebuke to a sinner (i.e. there is nobody around knowledgeable enough to ensure that the sinner will accept the rebuke as halachically accurate, as we mentioned yesterday) he should be shown the halacha in the Shulchan Aruch or another Halacha sefer, so that he will know that what he is doing is not allowed.
2) If this too is not an option (either because nobody knows where to find this particular halacha, or if the sinner is not capable of properly understanding or grasping what is written there) it is permitted, and recommended, to share the information with a respectable person, so that he can rebuke the sinner; hopefully he will listen to a rebuke coming from a distinguished person.
If all of the above has been tried, and he still holds on to his sinful ways, he is deemed a “Rasha” and all the halachos that apply to speaking about “Reshaim” will apply to him as well.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) Sharing negative information, even when doing so in a permitted way, should not be taken lightly, and all the facts must be weighed very carefully and seriously.
2) In order to be permitted to share negative information and shame a “Rasha” , the following criteria must be met:
· The person publicizing the sin must have personally witnessed it being transgressed, and thus determined that the sinner is a “Rasha”. If he only heard about it from others, it is not sufficient to allow him to further publicize it. (There may be exceptions to this, if he is Muchzak (established) in the city as a Rasha; we will discuss this as we progress B’Ezras Hashem)
· If the sin he transgressed is one that is not well-known as a sin, and the sinner only learned of its sinful nature via rebuke, a lot of thought must be put into it to determine if, according to the Torah, if it is indeed a genuine sin; he should not jump to make this determination and rush to publicize what he saw.
· When publicizing the actions of the sinner, he may not speak out of hatred for the individual, or in a way that he will get enjoyment out of shaming him. He must be doing it for the express purpose so that it should be a To’eles, a benefit, for others to hear that sinners are shamed, and thus they will avoid following the sinful path themselves. Furthermore, he must do it for the purpose that hopefully the sinner will do Teshuva after realizing that people are looking down upon him due to his sinning.
· Another To’eles that he can have in mind when publicizing a sinner’s transgressions, is that no Chilul Hashem should come out in the future, i.e. if something bad happens to the sinner at a later date, people will know that it may be heavenly retribution for his sins, and Hashem’s ways are just. (This applies especially for someone who people mistakenly think is a pious person, but in reality he is discreetly much less pious than he seems, and thus when he eceives heavenly retribution, people may wrongly have questions on Hashem R"L)
· When publicizing the sins of a “Rasha” they may not be exaggerted; adding any details or embellishing what he did in any way will be a transgression of “Motzi Shem Ra”.
· When relating the sins of a “Rasha” it may not be done two-faced, i.e. to others he relates the shamefulness of the sins, but in the presence of the “Rasha” he uses flattery and pretends all is OK. If one is publicizing the sins of a “Rasha” for the right reasons, he should do so publicly (unless he is afraid of being harmed by the sinner, or if doing it publicly will lead to Machlokes; in that case it can be related to others discreetly.)
Halachos for Sunday, January 30, 2022
1) We enumerate the various criteria that must be met before being allowed to publicize the sins of a “Rasha”, and it is important for the one sharing what he saw to be 100% sure thathe meets all the criteria before determining that he is within the confines of halacha with what he is relating. (We keep repeating this, as it is extremely important to rememeber this; it can't be overstated, as "Heterim" in Lashon Hara must not be used wrongly or abused, Chas V'shalom)
A good exercise to do before making that determination is to “flip the script” and imagine that someone was going to publicize something negative about you. If that were the case, would you still agree that all the criteria were met? Or would you suddenly find some holes in that determination?
Of course, it’s always a good idea to discuss with a Rav, to make sure you are as “L’sheim Shomayim” as you think you are in your determination to publicize another person’s sins, even if the person in question is/may be a “Rasha” according to your understanding.
2) Those who hear the information that you are publicizing about a “Rasha” may only listen/accept what is being said under advisement, but may not believe it in their hearts as absolute truth.
This is the case even if they heard it from two witnesses, until they independently verify the information as truth.
Halachos for Monday, January 31, 2022
1) As we learnt, the prohibition of speaking Lashon Hara applies only to speaking about a Jew who is considered your “Fellow Jew” (Amisecha), i.e. he/she is observant of the Torah’s laws and follows the Torah’s commandments to the best of their ability.
2) A "Rasha" is someone about whom it is established (Muchzak) that he is a “Rasha”, i.e. it is well-known amongst the residents of the city where he resides, and they have no doubts as to the this fact, based on reliable information that despite knowing better (as opposed to a Tinok Shenishbeh), he habitually transgresses Aveiros that are recognized by all to be prohibited.
This includes even “small” aveiros, and includes well-known Rabbinical transgressions as well. Such a person is no longer deemed “Amisecha”, and it is permissible to speak or listen to negative information about him/her.
Halachos for Tuesday, February 1, 2022
1) One may not arbitrarily deem another Jew as not being Torah observant based on one’s own definition or one’s own biases. The following precise criteria must be present for one to be allowed to speak/hear Lashon Hara about an established Rasha:
a) What is being related must be exactly the facts without any embellishment or exaggeration
b) The one relating the information must be doing so L’Toeles, for a constructive purpose, as we mentioned previously.
c) The information must be related publicly (as we discussed previously)
2) If all of these criteria are met, it will be permissible to share the information, even without approaching this “Rasha” first to rebuke him.
However, if there is even a small chance that this person will accept rebuke and change his ways, it is a praiseworthy thing to indeed try and rebuke him/her before sharing negative information about them.
Halachos for Wednesday, February 2, 2022
1) If a rumor is circulating about an otherwise observant Jew (about who it has never before been established that he is a sinner) that he acted sinfully, it is prohibited to accept this as fact.
He may not be hated and it is prohibited to decide in your heart that the rumor is true, and it is prohibited to speak Lashon Hara about him or to otherwise shame him.
2) The aforementioned rules are in place even if one heard this rumor from many people, which would indicate that there is truth to the rumor.
Still, he maintains his status as a kosher, observant Jew, and all the Halachos of Lashon Hara still apply to him.
Halachos for Thursday, February 3, 2022
1) If one hears another Jew speak words of Apikorsus (heretical speech, such as denying the truth of the written Torah or the oral Torah, or denying prophecy. This also includes denying that even one verse in the Torah was given by Hashem on Sinai, even if he says he believes in the rest of the Torah. This also includes rejecting even one rabbinically derived Kal V’chomer, Gezeira Shava or any rabbinical commentary) that individual is deemed an Apikores, a heretic, and it is a Mitzvah to deride himand speak negatively about him, in his presence or when he is not present.
2) When it comes to a heretic, the criteria that must be present to speak negatively about a “Rasha”, that we mentioned previously, do not apply.
Here, not only is it permitted, it is in fact a Mitzvah to shame him.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, February 4, 2022
Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) If one is told about another individual that he spoke heretical words, but he did not hear it himself, he may not accept it 100% in his heart as the truth.
However, he may take this information under advisement, and he may even privately warn others that they should avoid associating with this person until the information is verified.
2) One who is observed, or established in the city, to be a total “Porek Ol Malchus Shomayim” (One who, despite knowing better, has total disregard for Hashem, His Torah or for any observance at all) R”L, is worse than a “Rasha” and it is permitted to speak negatively about him, without any of the previously mentioned criteria.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) If a Bais Din instructs an individual to do a certain action (either Bain Adam L’Makom or Bein Adam L’chaveiro) and he refuses to comply with their ruling under any circumstances, and he doesn’t have a reason for his refusal, it is permissible to speak negatively of him, and it is permissible to document his failure to comply in a ledger or other record book that will be kept for posterity.
If he gives a reason for his refusal, if that reason does not seem truthful, and seems to only be a concoctd excuse for his refusal, we are not required to believe him.
If, however, we are in doubt if his reason is real, it is prohibited to speak negatively of him.
2) If Bas Din instructs an individual not to do a certain action, and he transgresses their ruling and does that action anyway, it would depend if he did so publicly, where it would be permitted to speak negatively of him, or if he did so privately, where we would be prohibited from speaking negatively of him.
In all of the above, all the criteria that apply to speaking of a “rasha” will apply here too.
Halachos for Sunday, February 6, 2022
1) If someone observes an individual (Reuven) steal from , swindle or otherwise hurt, harm or verbally disparage another individual (Shimon), and he is certain that Reuven did not return the stolen object, pay for the damage or otherwise ask mechilah for his offense, if specific criteria are present (which we will discuss in detail over the next few days B'Ezras Hashem) it is permitted to relate this incident to others, if doing so to assist Shimon in recovering his losses, as well as to denigrate such sinful behavior in the eyes of others.
2) If he is not 100% certain if Reuven returned the stolen item or otherwise made amends for his sinful act, it is forbidden to relate the incident to others.
Halachos for Monday, February 7, 2022
1) In order to be allowed to share the details of a theft or other sinful incident that one witnessed, there are many principles of criteria that must be present:
The first few are as follows:
a) It must be 100% clear that the information is true, either by virtue of witnessing it yourself, or via other means of verification.
b) It must be 100% clear that the act in question is a sin. Many times we jump to conclusions and deem something that another individual did as wrong or sinful.
Before sharing this information, he must deliberate to ensure that it was indeed a sin. Many times, due to lack of certan details or background information, we can misjudge an action. It is best to approach the “sinner” and discuss his actions with him to see if perhaps there is more to the story than you realize. This is especially true if he is a Torah scholar, as it is possible that he can explain to you what he did and why he did it and how it is perhaps not a sin.
2) c) Before sharing the information, the offender must be softly rebuked so that he may have a chance to return the stole item or otherwise amend his actions, and thus it would be unnecessary (and forbidden) to relate his actions to others. (This is the case even if he committed this sin many times, as even though he succumbed to his Yetzer Hara many times, he is still a fellow Jew and must be rebuked first before being allowed to share details of his sins. If one is Muchzak as a Gazlan, however, it is questionable if we are obligated to rebuke him before sharing details of his sin.)
d) His intention in sharing the information must be L’To’eles, for a constructive purpose. If, however, he is sharing the information in order to get some personal benefit from putting this person down, or if he is sharing it out of feelngs of loathing toward the offender, it would be forbidden for him to share.
We will discuss some examples of what is deemed “L’To’eles” , tomorrow B’Ezras Hashem.
Halachos for Tuesday, February 8, 2022
1) Some important rules of sharing the information “L’To’eles”, for a constructive purpose, include:
a) You cannot take pleasure in the fact that the one being spoken about will have his reputation suffer, nor may you relate the information with any level of prior animosity that you may have for him.
It is only permissible if you are relating the information for the purpose of assisting the one who was stolen from or otherwise harmed.
2) b) By relating the information, the ones hearing it will understand that the one that was stolen from or otherwise harmed, was hurt unjustly, and thus knowing this information will somewhat minimize his pain. (This too is deemed To’eles, as it is human nature that one’s pain gets minimized when shared with and felt by others)
Tomorrow we shall see a few more rules of To’eles.
Halachos for Wednesday, February 9, 2022
1) Some additional rules for sharing the information “L’To’eles” , for a constructive purpose, include:
a) By hearing the information (and then verifying that it is accurate) the one’s hearing it will rebuke the sinner, and thereby he will realize the error of his ways and do teshuva, ask mechilah from the one he hurt and otherwise make amends for his harmful actions.
Although the one who is relating the information can rebuke the sinner himself, often there are others whose rebuke will be more effective (such as a rebbi, a parent, a relative and the like) and thus in that case relating to them would fall under the category of To’eles.
b) By relating the information to others, they will realize that sinners get shamed for their actions, and thus it will serve as a deterrent to keep them from behaving in the same sinful manner as the one who is being spoken about.
Furthermore, the sinner himself may do teshuva when he hears that his actions are being discussed by others, and thereby bringing him shame. This too, in many cases, is deemed an acceptable To’eles.
2) There are many other examples of situations that may be deemed “To’eles”, and in each situation, it is important to determine that indeed it is 100% To’eles to relate the information, and all the criteria deeming it acceptable are present.
It is advisable to discuss with a Rav before deeming any Lashon Hara permissible to relate, due to To’eles, as this Heter can easily be - and all too often is - abused and misapplied.
Halachos for Thursday, February 10, 2022
1) If the one relating Lashon Hara about another Jew is himself a sinner in the same way as the one who he is relating the negative information about (e.g. they both sinfully eat non-kosher food, and now he is relating this fact about his friend, to others), even if all the criteria of “To’eles” are present, he is still forbidden to share this information, as the heter of “To’eles” does not apply to him, as since he is steeped in sin he is assumed to be relating it for less than noble reasons.
2) Similarly, if the people one is relating the negative information to are themselves people who are steeped in similar sins to the ones you are relating to them about another Jew (e.g. they are a group of swindlers, and you are relating to them information about a Jew who stole) it is forbidden to relate it to them.
Besides for the fact that in all likelihood there will be no real To’eles in relating this information to such people, there are also other unscrupulous things that can develop due to sharing this information with them.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, February 11, 2022 Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) If one can come up with another option which would circumvent his having to relate the negative information, even if it would be in a permissible way due to “To’eles”, he must exercise that option, and not relate the information to others.
2) If one can relate the information without mentioning the name of the offender, and this would still result in the same To’eles/ benefit as if it was related using the person’s name, he must indeed opt for the option of relating it without the name.
Rather, he must just focus upon the severity of the offense that he is relating, irrespective of the name of the offender.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) When relating Lashon Hara in a permissible way, L’To’eles, it may not be done if as a consequence of what you relate it will lead to harmful ramifications for the offender, beyond what the Halacha would mete out, had his penalty been handed to him by a Bais Din.
2) If indeed he determines that the listeners will cause the offender more harm than he would deservedly get would this be in a Bais Din, it is prohibited to relate the information tot hem, even if all the other criteria of “To’eles” are present.
This is the case even if two people witnessed the offense and they are both relating the information to others.
If it is only one person who witnessed it, and he alone is relating the information, he has to be even more careful that no harm befalls the offender.
For purposes of retribution they should summon the perpetrator to Bais Din where witnesses can give testimony, and Bais Din can decide how to right any wrongs in accordance with halacha.
Halachos for Sunday, February 13, 2022
1) When relating Lashon Hara for a “To’eles”, it may only be related exactly as it was witnessed, and not exaggerated or embellished even an iota.
2) Any exaggeration or embellishment would be deemed a sin of “Motzi Shem Ra” for the one relating the information.
Additionally, if there is any way to interpret the story in a manner that would minimize the offense in the eyes of the listeners, and thus minimize the shame of the offender, the one relating the information must not withoold this interpretation.
If he does withold this interpretation, he is no longer permitted to relate it to them in the first place, even if the other criteria of “To’eles” were present.
Halachos for Monday, February 14, 2022
1) When all the criteria of “To’eles” are present, it is permitted to relate the information even if nobody asked you to do so.
If any of the criteria of “To’eles” are not present, it is forbidden to relate the information, even if you are requested to relate the information.
2) This is true even if the one requesting you to relate the information is a close relative.
There is no special allowance for relatives.
Unfortunately, many people mistakenly assume that when they hear that a relative of theirs was hurt or otherwise mistreated, they may immediately accept the information as fact and go “right the wrong” via some sort of retribution. Some people even mistakenly believe they are fulfilling a Mitzvah of standing up for their relatives (As the Pasuk, Yeshaya 58:7, states “Mibesarcha Al Tis’alem, from your flesh you shall not turn a blind eye)
Nothing can be farther from the truth, as there is no difference in Hilchos Lashon Hara between a relative and a stranger; all the Halachos are 100% in place.
The mandate of Mibesarcha Al Tis’alem does not, Chas V’shalom, give a person license to transgress any Issurim.
Halachos for Tuesday, February 15, 2022
1) The victim of a theft may relate the facts of the story to a distinguished person, or to the relatives of the one who stole from him, in the hopes that they will rebuke him and their rebuke will be taken seriously, and will lead to him returning what he stole.
2) Furthermore, if one (Shimon) knows for certain that another person (Reuven) is planning to harm him financially, Shimon may approach the relatives of Reuven, or other distinguished people who may have influence over him, and share this information in the hopes that they can and will prevent this financial harm from taking place.
This is the case even if by relating this information it will lead to Reuven being embarrassed, as that is not his intent; rather his intent is to prevent himself a financial loss. (Of course, if his intent is to embarrass Reuven, this would be prohibited. Also, all the other conditions of To’eles, that we discussed previously, still apply as well.)
Halachos for Wednesday, February 16, 2022
1) Just as it is prohibited to speak Lashon Hara about an individual, so too it is prohibited to speak Lashon Hara about an entire Tzibur, a group (such as disparaging members of a certain Shul, badmouthing residents of a particular neighborhood, being critical of dwellers of a specific city etc.)
2) However, if one is sharing the information about the group for a constructive purpose, and they will ultimately benefit from it, it is allowed, provided all the conditions of L’Toeles that we have previously discussed, are in place.
Thus, for example, if one relates an iniquity of a group to someone who is capable of rebuking them and helping them return to the right path, that would be permitted.
Halachos for Thursday, February 17, 2022
1) It is permitted to share negative information about a minor (under Bar/Bas Mitzvah age) if the purpose of doing so is constructive, to help him/her learn the right path in life, or for the purposes of preventing them from causing harm to others.
2) However, the information that is being shared must be verified that it is 100% accurate. It may not be based on an unverified rumor, and in general one should not jump to believe negative information that is heard from others, about a minor.
Also, one must be very careful, especially when sharing information about minors, that any punishment, disciplinary action or fallout that may result from information that is shared about them is not disproportionate to the misconduct, and not in a manner that is not acceptable by the Torah.
All too often, sadly, people with authority over minors tend to overreact or misuse their powers, and it can lead to unfortunate results, such as children leaving the path of Torah altogether, or other situations that are detrimental to their physical, emotional and spiritual health.
Extreme caution must be exercised when dealing with precious Jewish children.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, February 18, 2022Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) It is a Mitzvah for one to warn his children or his students about a less-than-upstanding individual or group, so that they will know to stay away from them and not associate with people of such inferior character, and Chas V'Shalom be influenced by them.
Some examples of this includes those who are habitually haughty or angry, those who spend their free time with wasteful nothingness instead of Torah pursuits, and others with obvious character flaws.
2) Even though he may, and must, warn his children/students to not associate with these people, he himself may not deem them as Reshaim, wicked people, in his heart.
Rather, he must think in his heart that perhaps they do not realize the error of their ways, or perhaps they have repented from their sinful ways.
Also, when warning his children/students to avoid these individuals, he must do so for noble purposes only, to keep them away from them, and not with any personal animosity in his heart toward these individuals, Chas V’S halom.
Also, he must tell his students/children the reason that he is relating this information to them, so that they understand that it is for their benefit, and so they don’t learn from this that other Lashon Hara is permissible to relate as well, Chas V’shalom.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) If one observes a fellow Jew selling to certain individuals on credit, and he knows the nature of these individuals is to not pay their debts, he is permitted to inform the seller about their wicked nature, so that he can protect himself and not extend them credit.
2) Even if he doesn’t know this information from personal experience, or first-hand, rather he heard about it from other reliable sources, he may let the seller know, so that he can protect himself.
However, in such a case, he should not relate the information with absolute validity, rather he should say something to the effect of “I heard about this individual….it may be a good idea to take this information under advisement” so that it is evident that you too do not believe the information as 100% verified, but just enough to take it under advisement.
A SUMMARY OF THE 7 RULES OF TO'ELES
Halachos for Tuesday May 14, 2024
1) Sometimes, relating negative information can be permitted, if being done for a constructive purpose - known as "L'Toeles".
However, there are 7 conditions that must ALL be met before being able to deem something as permissible to relate, due to it being L'Toeles.
2) This "loophole" is often abused, misused and misunderstood, so it's extremely important to study the 7 criteria of To'eles, and examine every piece of Lashon Hara through this lens before deciding that it meets all the criteria.
Tomorrow we will begin reviewing the 7 items. B’Ezras Hashem
Halachos for Wednesday, May 15, 2024
1) The first of the 7 criteria to be able to halachically deem something L'Toeles to relate to someone else is to be 100%, absolutely positive that the information is accurate.
2) The information being relayed has to have been observed directly by the one relating it, or at least he did adequate research to verify the information beyond a shadow of a doubt,in order to have the Heter of L'Toeles.
Furthermore, in a case where he is relating something based on research and not based on his own eyewitness account, he has to tell the one who is listening that what he is telling him is based on hearsay.
Halachos for Thursday, May 16, 2024
1) The 2nd of the 7 criteria to be able to halachically deem something L'Toeles and thus relate to someone else, is to contemplate the matter at hand and determine that what transpired was actually wrong.
2) Many times things may look wrong or seem wrong, but for whatever reason, may in fact have been appropriate, or not wrong in a halachic sense. Thus, before deeming it acceptable to relate one must be totally certain that his interpretation of what transpired is accurate.
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh, May 17, 2024 Double Portion L'Kavod Shabbos Kodesh
Halachos for Erev Shabbos Kodesh
1) The 3rd of the 7 criteria to be able to halachically deem something L'Toeles and thus relate to someone else, is to first approach the subject of the Lashon Hara and try to have him mend his wayward behavior.
2) Only after the subject is approached, and he refuses to rectify his behavior, would it now be halachically acceptable to consider sharing the information L'Toeles, in a constructive way.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) The 4th of the 7 criteria to be able to halachically deem something L'Toeles and thus relate to someone else, is that it is prohibited to exaggerate in any way, shape or form.
2) If the one relating the information is emotionally involved and thus incapable of stating the facts exactly as they are without embellishing them or adding a negative undertone, the Heter of To'eles will not apply.
Halachos for Sunday, May 19, 2024
1) The 5th of the 7 criteria to be able to halachically deem something L'Toeles and thus relate to someone else, is that it is being done strictly for a constructive purpose to help the one it is being told to avoid being harmed or taken advantage of.
2) If, however, the one relating it has feelings of animosity, annoyance or other ill wiil toward the subject, he may not relate the information, even L'Toeles.
Furthermore, if the one relating the information will personally benefit from relating this information, he may also not relate it, even if it's for a constructive purpose, as his personal benefit (negi'us) makes it all but impossible for it to be totally for a constructive purpose.
If it is truly important for the information to be known by the recipient, a rav should be consulted to determine if and how to proceed.
Halachos for Monday, May 20, 2024
1) The 6th of the 7 criteria to be able to halachically deem something L'Toeles and thus relate to someone else, is to have no other options to prevent harm from coming to the person you are relating it to.
If, however, other options exist to prevent him from getting hurt by the subject, or if he can relate the information without maligning the subject in the process, he must utilize those options rather than relate the Lashon Hara.
2) The 7th of the 7 criteria to be able to halachically deem something L'Toeles and thus relate to someone else, is that no greater loss can result for the subject - due to your relating the information - than allowed by Halacha.
As we mentioned previouslt, ALL 7 conditions of To'eles must be present for it to be permissible to relate negative information due to it being L'Toeles.
One who is intelectually honest will find that in most cases where negative information is being shared with the loophole of "To'eles", it does not in fact meet all 7 conditions.
Remember, Hashem sees everything, hears everything, and knows the thoughts and intentions in our hearts! Before saying it is L'Toeles, make sure it actually is!
Let's all try and improve in the area of Lashon Hara, rechilus, Sinas Chinam and bein Adam L'Chaveiro in general, especially during this time period when we are commemorating the passing of Rebbi Akiva's 24,000 Talmidim.
WITH ENDLESS GRATITUDE TO HAKADOSH BARUCH HU, THIS COMPLETES OUR STUDY OF HILCHOS LASHON HARA.
It is our collective Tefilah that this topic has brought real awareness to us all regarding the importance of guarding our tongues.
May Hashem protect us from stumbling with sins of speech, and may Hashem purify our mouths and accept all our Tefilos L'Tova!
The convenient graphic below is From the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foudation:
